Category Archives: Inspiration

Honoring Lady Thatcher

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

Margaret_ThatcherFormidable. Dominant. Revered. Stern. Divisive.

So many adjectives come to mind whenever Margaret Thatcher’s name comes up, many of which have earned her the nickname, The Iron Lady.

Agree or disagree with her politics, we all recognize her extraordinary achievements as the first and only female prime minister of Great Britain (1979-1990). She has demonstrated to all of us there isn’t a glass ceiling that cannot be shattered.



My favorite Lady Thatcher quotes…

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman. (1965 speech)

You don’t win by just being against things, you only win by being for things and making your message perfectly clear. (February 1975)

Where there is discord, may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. And where there is despair, may we bring hope. (May 1979)

Pennies don’t fall from heaven—they have to be earned here on Earth. (November 1979)

To those waiting with bated breath for the favourite media catchphrase, the U-turn, I have only one thing to say. You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning. (October 1980)

Defeat? I do not recognize the meaning of the word. (April 1982)

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he’d only had good intentions. He had money as well. (January 1986)

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. (April 1989)

If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time and you would achieve nothing. (May 1989)

Do you have a favorite Lady Thatcher quote?

Dealing with the Monster Moon

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

10425279_s

Usually, I skim over my horoscope, smiling or frowning at the message and then promptly forget the specifics. But this past week has been different. Each day, the message has referred to the potent “monster moon” that is passing through this evening.

What is a monster moon?

It is the full moon that occurs when several planets meet at hard angles. Tonight, as the moon grows full, Venus, Mars and Uranus will form an approximate right angle to Pluto. While all of this is invisible to the naked eye, there is concern about the potent tug of war between these feisty planets.

What does that mean?

The annual full moon in Libra signals an increase in proposals and handshakes. That may not be not the case today. Some astrologers are predicting more shouting than listening, especially in circumstances involving weak relationships and unclear goals. Several horoscopes have hinted that the impact of this powerful moon could be felt over a longer period, four days before and four days after March 27th.

What can we do?

Strengthen those weak relationships…Firm up those goals…Don’t go looking for trouble.

Namaste

Honoring Gloria Steinem

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

gloria4Yesterday, feminist icon Gloria Steinem celebrated her 79th birthday. Still beautiful and wiser than ever, she is an inspiration to all women. Her name will be forever associated with the women’s rights movement.

Whenever I need a pick-me-upper, I pick up one of her books and, if I’m in a hurry, I recall her famous quotes.


Some of us are becoming the men we want to marry.

We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons…but few have the courage to raise our sons more like daughters.

Most women are one man away from welfare.

God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there’s no turning back.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined place.

If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?

Hope is a very unruly emotion.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

What is your favorite Gloria Steinem quote?


Oprah and Dr. Brené Brown–Part II

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

brene2I’m glad Oprah decided to spend another Super Soul Sunday with Dr. Brené Brown. Yesterday’s show focused on shame and fear and how they rule our existence. A joy-filled hour packed with aha moments, so many that I will probably watch the telecast several times to make sure I haven’t missed one.

When Dr. Brown started to study shame, she discovered that the decision to study shame had led to the death of many academic careers. No one wants to talk about the most human and primitive of emotions, one  that Dr. Brown so aptly described as an intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging.

She also differentiated between shame and guilt, demonstrating the power of our words.

I’m bad vs I did something bad.

I’m a mistake vs I made a mistake.

I was particularly impressed by the response Dr. Brown’s daughter gave the teacher who commented: “You’re messy.” Displaying a healthy dose of self confidence, the child replied, “I may be making a mess, but I’m not messy.”

As I listened to the telecast, I thought back to my own cancer experience. During those ten months, I discovered who could and who could not bear the weight of my new story. I will always be grateful to the five angels who called me that first weekend and offered specific help. No pity parties or flying debris from those wonderful friends. Thankfully, I did not have to endure too many insufferable comments: “Oh, you poor thing!”; “Bless your heart.” I was moved by the friend who approached me a year later and apologized for not being there for me.

Quotable Quotes…

Unused creativity is not benign. It gets metastasized as rage, judgment, shame…

Calm people are breathers. They breathe and ask questions.

Cultivate laughter, song and dance. We need to let go of control and cool.

Cool is an emotional strait-jacket.

If there is secrecy, silence and judgment, shame grows exponentially and creeps into every corner and crevice of life.

Shame is the #1 classroom management tool.

Shame can’t survive empathy.

Shame depends upon us buying into the belief that we are unworthy.

Keep the shadow up front because it can only take you down from behind.

Share with people who have earned the right to your story.

Some people confuse connection with the opportunity to one-up you.

Love and belonging are irreducible needs.

Oprah and Dr. Brené Brown

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

brene2Kindred spirits.

It was obvious on yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday that Oprah and Dr. Brené Brown were forging a long-term relationship as they discussed the most uncomfortable of topics: vulnerability.

The fifth generation Texan had her own issues with vulnerability. A bit surprising for the academic who had devoted many years of research to vulnerability, courage and shame. In 2007, she realized that she wasn’t walking the talk and had a full-on breakdown. After intense therapy, she had a spiritual awakening and revealed her deepest fears at a 2010 TED talk on vulnerability. She became an internet celebrity, reaching over eight million people with that talk.

But the story doesn’t end there.

As Dr. Brown become more popular, the critics came out of the woodwork. She ignored her husband’s advice and read the anonymous negative comments. Devastated, she retreated and spent ten hours watching Downton Abbey reruns. She researched the period and rediscovered the famous Theodore Roosevelt quote:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena…if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat.

Dr. Brown decided she wanted to be the man in the arena and came up with her own personal mantra:

If you’re not in the arena getting your butt occasionally kicked, I am not interested in your feedback.

Throughout the telecast, she offered wonderful insights on the scarcity culture, imperfection, and living wholeheartedly. I am looking forward to reading her third book, Daring Greatly.

Quotable Quotes…

You can’t get courage without walking through vulnerability.

#1 casualty of the scarcity culture is vulnerability.

There is no innovation or creativity without failure. Period.

God is the diving reminder of our inherent worthiness.

There is no joy without gratitude.

When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding.

Faith – (Vulnerability + Mystery) = Extremism

Authenticity is a choice we make every day, sometimes every hour.

The ego is the hustler and the message is “hustle for your worth.”

Inspired by Sue Johnston

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

suejFacts tell—stories sell.

That’s only one of the many nuggets delivered by Communication Coach Sue Johnston at yesterday’s GWIN (Guelph Women in Networking) meeting.

During a lively interactive session, she guided us through the Three Ps—Purpose, People, Point—needed to craft an effective and memorable 60-second introduction. Working through her double-sided handout, I quickly discovered several holes in my own pitch for Between Land and Sea. While I wasn’t ready to share my personal introduction, I was impressed by the women who stood up and spoke eloquently and passionately about their businesses.

Throughout the presentation, Sue stressed the following points:

Keep it simple—three points maximum.

Make it about the audience.

Invite action and make it easy for the audience to take it.

A seasoned speaker, Sue Johnston delights in helping people find their voices and tell their stories.

Quotable Quote…

Men will want to hear a story if you use a metaphor they will understand.

Oprah and Dr. Robin Smith

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

robinsmith2She was on top of the world. Psychologist. Bestselling author. Ordained minister. Thirty-five appearances on the Oprah show.

And then life happened to Dr. Robin Smith.

She was in a serious car accident. Her home was flooded and later burglarized. Her beloved pet died. She lost her money.

She lost her way.

Yesterday, Dr. Smith sat down with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday to share her experiences and reveal how she found light after the darkest of days.

In a very moving hour, Dr. Smith described the hunger or “emotional anorexia” that permeated most of her life. This state occurs whenever people call themselves full while living off the crumbs of life.

Throughout the telecast, Oprah and Dr. Smith referred to the following quote from C.S. Lewis:

Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

At first, Dr. Smith wondered why God had to get so loud, but eventually realized that a megaphone was needed to rouse a dying Robin. The universe did not want her to settle for emotional crumbs and call it a meal.

While healing, Dr. Smith started writing her book, Hunger: The Truth About Being Full. The experience was a cathartic one that helped her reclaim parts of herself. She was only able to release the book  once she was shackle-free.

Quotable Quotes…

Universe is on time and on point, every moment.

The soul is an unshackled core of energy and light that mirrors back its own beauty.

It only takes two, God and I are enough!

Adulthood is here to address the unfinished business of childhood.

Freedom is being who you are, unapologetically.

Put your vulnerability in the light and it will be embraced and feel warm.

Be quiet enough to hear God’s voice so you can find your own. (Dr. Smith’s parents)

My Take on Boomer Lit

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

9188269_s

We’re the young generation,
And we’ve gt something to say.

Almost five decades have passed since I first heard those catchy lyrics from The Monkees.  At age fifty-eight, the song continues to resonate with me.

I’ve still got something to say.

And so do seventy-eight million other baby boomers around the world.

We are fueling a growing demand for a different kind of literature, aptly called boomer lit. While it is entertaining to read about young vampires and twenty-something women wrestling with relationship and workplace issues, we want our own heroes who are not afraid to change the standard romantic and literary formulas.

Age-appropriate. Nostalgic. Finding meaning in the golden years. Or to quote LuAnn Schindler…

Move over, chick. It’s time for the hen to strut her stuff.

I started to seriously “strut” my literary stuff five years ago. After retiring from a thirty-one-year teaching career, I decided to devote my second act to writing. Excited about my first novel, I anxiously awaited input from a visiting screenwriter. That conversation is still etched in memory:

Writer: “You’ve got an interesting storyline here. And I like how you’ve developed the  main female characters. But…

Me: Spill it. I can take it.

Writer: Most of the characters are over fifty. You need to bring in a couple of young’uns. Create a sub-plot with the protagonist’s niece and introduce a love interest for her.

Me: What do you mean by young’uns?

Writer: Characters in their twenties and early thirties. That’s what selling now.

Since then, I have encountered different versions of this conversation whenever I participate in writing workshops and seminars. Several instructors urged me to downplay the “boomer” elements in my books.

“Don’t mention anything about age in your query letter.”

“It’s okay to have an older woman as a sleuth. She’ll be invisible and that works well for sleuths. But make sure you surround her with younger characters.”

“Stay away from retirement homes, senior homes, and nursing homes. Don’t dwell on all that negative stuff. Too depressing.”

Hmm

Thankfully, the writers and producers of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Quartet, The Intouchables and Downtown Abbey did not consider such misguided advice. I can’t even imagine creating younger characters to replace Maggie Smith, Dame Judy Dench, Bill Nighy or Francois Cluzet  in any of their outstanding roles.

I am equally impressed by Jeanne Ray, Lynda Rutledge, Debra Goldstein and other writers who have launched spectacular second acts.  Inspired by their stories, I  have continued to use boomers and their older siblings as protagonists in my novels and short stories. My determination and efforts are finally paying off. In the fall of 2013, Soul Mate Publishing will release my debut novel, Between Land and Sea.

Any other boomer lit success stories out there? I would love to feature you on this blog.

Related Articles…

Are You Ready For Boomer Lit? Laurie Boris

Boomer Lit: Romancing the Middle-Aged Reader by LuAnn Schindler

How I Reinvented Myself at 60 by Jeanne Ray

Oprah and Don Miguel Ruiz

Posted on by Joanne Guidoccio

oprahruiz

It was definitely the book that could.

The slim volume written by an unknown writer and picked up by a small publisher has sold more than 1.5 million copies since 1997.

Yesterday, Don Miguel Ruiz joined Oprah on Super Soul Sunday to talk about the extraordinary message of hope and inspiration contained in The Four Agreements.

Born into a family of shamans and teachers, Ruiz originally rejected the ancient Toltec traditions and went to medical school. In his final year, he was in a car accident from which he emerged physically unscathed, but emotionally transformed. He left the medical arena and decided to focus on the psychological aspects of illness and suffering.

Ruiz believes that most of the drama and suffering in our lives is self-created. If we can find inner silence and control our thoughts, we can become happier, regardless of our external circumstances.

In his own life, Ruiz faced a major health challenge at age 49. He woke up one morning with a heart attack and ended up in a coma for nine weeks. He then lived in pain for almost nine years, his heart functioning at only 16 percent. Excited about dying, Ruiz was determined to show people the best way to let go of the physical body. In 2010, he received a heart transplant.

Oprah and Don Miguel Ruiz spent the hour peeling back the layers of the The Four Agreements:

Be impeccable with your word.

Don’t take anything personally.

Don’t make assumptions.

Always do your best.

So many wonderful insights from Don Miguel Ruiz…

Every single cell of our body is a universe.

Humans are the only animals on earth that pay thousands of times for the same mistake.

We are really secondary characters in everyone else’s story.

You are not responsible for what other people understand.

Happiness can only come from within.

Drama occurs when we make assumptions and take things personally.

The first three agreements exist only in imagination.

If we don’t take action, ideas will dissipate.

Stand in your own light and centered in your joy.

Fourth agreement….takes pressure off when you know you’ve done your best.

Religion is just a consequence of the spirit.

You are alive…so take your life and enjoy it.