Living Vicariously Through My Protagonist

In the spring of 2001, I enrolled in the Career Development Practitioner Program at Conestoga College in nearby Kitchener, Ontario. After meeting with the course director, I sat down and meticulously planned the next seven years of my life.

I would continue teaching full-time during the day and take one online course each trimester. I even selected the order so that the more demanding courses would be taken during the summer months. Upon completion of the program, I would spend two summers interning in preparation for retirement and the launch of ReCareering, a counseling practice that would cater to boomers.

That was the fantasy.

The reality was very different.

Continue reading on Maggie King’s blog.


Advertisements

Featured on Writers Who Kill

interviewpixGrace Topping is interviewing me about my writing and cancer journeys, the Gilda Greco Mystery Series, and the Mediterranean Trilogy.

Drop by the Writers Who Kill blog.


Tips for Coping with a Cancer Diagnosis

I am happy to feature this post from Anna Suarez and her colleagues, who are passionate about spreading hope to those who have cancer. I’m certain their tips will help newly diagnosed cancer patients and their loved ones.

Doctor talking to his female senior patient at the office

Doctor talking to his female senior patient at the office

Each year, 14 million people across the globe are diagnosed with cancer. Every person’s journey is different. Here is some advice on ways to cope with a cancer diagnosis.

Find survivors in your community.

cancersurvivor2When facing a cancer diagnosis it can be helpful to find a support group. Connecting with people who are experiencing the same things and can share in your struggles and triumphs can be immensely important for a patient’s mental and emotional health. These groups prevent patients from feeling isolated and the people they encounter may be able to offer helpful insights.

For people who have been diagnosed with rare cancers like mesothelioma this is especially important, but also a significant challenge. Cancers like mesothelioma, which is only diagnosed in 3,000 people annually, do not have the same widespread community. Online resources and even social media can be a great way to connect with other cancer patients and survivors. Additionally, when dealing with rare cancers it can be difficult to find information about your treatment options because fewer doctors specialize in that specific disease. This may also mean that you have to travel get to get access to the best treatments, or that those treatments might be more expensive. Following an online resource that specializes in your specific cancer or having a contact who can connect you to necessary resources can save you time and stress.

Write and read.

10615966_sWords have power: they bring us hope, connect us across generations and geography, and can be an outlet for our internal struggles. The written word can be a great resource for coping with your diagnosis and creative writing could be an ideal form of expression. Some studies even identify that writing for self expression can have physical benefits for cancer patients. One study found that expressing emotions through writing resulted in breast cancer patients reporting fewer symptoms and making fewer unscheduled doctor visits.

Reading offers another form of solace; the ability to escape from your surroundings for a short amount of time can not be overstated. Distraction therapies such as reading can be helpful in passing the time during treatment or while waiting for doctor appointments, but can also help mitigate some of patient’s symptoms such as anxiety, nausea, and pain. Reading also allows a patient to exercise their minds and exert a small level of autonomy over their lives, which some can feel is lacking after a cancer diagnosis.

Lean on loved ones.

sharinghandsAlthough it may sound cliche, friends and family truly are an essential support system. Many of us are not used to asking for help or admitting when we feel defeated. Reaching out to the people you’re close to can help relieve any feelings of solitude and supplement a cancer-focused support group. In addition to emotional support, loved ones also have the unique ability to make us laugh and distract us from hardship. Friends and family can also offer support by accompanying patients to their doctor visits and acting as another set of ears at the appointments.

Coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis is a process that is unique to every individual. Hopefully these suggestions can offer some additional support on your journey, or spark some of your own ideas on ways to fully cope with the diagnosis.


Happy Birthday Louise Hay!

Today, spiritual teacher Louise Hay celebrates her 90th birthday. One of the founders of the self-help movement, Louise has inspired millions of people with her positive philosophy and affirmations. The best-selling author of several books, among them You Can Heal Your Life, she has helped facilitate–and often accelerate–the healing process.

louisehay2

In June of 2004, I discovered Louise Hay. Here is my story…

I was between appointments and had an entire day to myself. After running several errands, I wandered into the Bookshelf Café. I hadn’t picked up a book since receiving the diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer. Appointments, tests, and trips to the Cancer Centre had taken over my life, leaving little time for anything else. It was time to start reading again.

youcanhealyourlifeA self-help junkie, I decided to check out the latest in that section of the bookstore. As I glanced through shelves of books extolling improved self-esteem and better work performance, a cover with a beautiful rainbow set against a yellow backdrop caught my attention. A picture of a perky, forty-something blonde rested on the bold title: You Can Heal Your Life. Later, I discovered that the perky blonde was sixty years old when the picture was taken.

I was curious about the boldness of the title. How could a woman who was not a doctor make such a claim? I turned the book over and read the short blurb describing her background. Metaphysical lecturer and teacher. Science of Mind minister. Personal growth and self-healing. New Age stuff. As I started to put the book back, I noticed a glowing testimonial from Dr. Bernie Siegel, the author of Love, Medicine & Miracles.

I then turned to the Foreword written by Dave Braun and was struck by the first sentence: “If I were cast away on a desert island and could have only one book with me there, I might well choose Louise L. Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.”

Another bold claim!

breast-cancerIntrigued, I flipped through the pages of the book. Several sentences caught my attention: “Releasing resentment will dissolve even cancer”; “The breasts represent the mothering principle. When there are problems with the breast, it usually means we are ‘over-mothering’ a person, a place, a thing, or an experience.”

Bingo!

I bought the book and spent the rest of the day reading about an amazing woman who had endured a traumatic childhood, poverty, divorce and a diagnosis of cancer in the vaginal area. She was short on clinical details, but it sounded like the cancer was in the advanced stages. I was particularly struck by the following comment: “The word incurable, which is so frightening to so many people, means to me that this particular condition cannot be cured by any outer means and that we must go within to find the cure.” Louise went within and healed herself of cancer without surgery or treatments. That was over thirty years ago.

While some of Louise’s suggestions were definitely out of my comfort zone, I didn’t dismiss them entirely. Instead of surrounding myself with bright lights and ocean scenes, I hung a print of an Italian soccer player in my bedroom. Each morning and evening, I would imagine that handsome young man kicking the tumor out of my breast. It had come from nowhere, and I wanted to send it back to nowhere.

I developed an interest in visualization and started thinking in positive affirmations, using several of Louise’s suggestions:

• I lovingly do everything I can to assist my body in maintaining physical health.
• Today, every cell of my body radiates health.
• I relax and let my body heal itself.

Excited about the book, I shared Louise’s ideas with friends and relatives. I chuckled at their raised eyebrows and forced smiles. To be fair, that would have been my reaction before the diagnosis. But cancer had staked its claim and thrown a monkey wrench into my life. While I listened to my health care team, I also incorporated suggestions from this remarkable woman, who is a living testimonial to what she teaches.

*Originally published in Memoirs 2013.


#WeCanICan on #WorldCancerDay

sharinghands2Today is World Cancer Day, a global event designed to raise awareness and education about a disease that continues to affect a growing segment of the population. Currently, 8.2 million people die from cancer worldwide each year, out of which, 4 million die prematurely (aged 30 to 69 years).

While it may be too late to organize a major campaign, we can still get involved and support the fight against cancer.


Continue reading on the Sisters of Suspense blog.


That Hippy Bag

breast cancerI hadn’t planned on spending Day 1 of Life after Breast Cancer Diagnosis in a mall, but my friend Karen insisted. “Once those chemo appointments start, you’ll have no time to shop. Get everything now, and you won’t be scrambling later.”

As we walked through the mall, I mentally planned my shopping list: nightgowns, pajamas, a new robe, comfy day clothes. I was surprised when Karen pointed to my black, leather purse. “You’ll need a larger bag for when you start your treatments. Something more durable that’ll hold its shape.”

I started to argue and then stopped. After all, she was the seasoned warrior who had already traveled this path.

Continue reading on Vicki Batman’s blog.


With Hope, the Odds Don’t Matter

Last week, Heather Von St. James asked me to share her story on my blog and help build hope and awareness for her campaign.

heather

Heather’s story…

At the age of thirty-six, Heather’s life was an idyllic one. Three months earlier, she had given birth to a beautiful daughter, Lily Rose. Heather did not expect to receive a life-altering diagnosis of pleural mesothelioma at a routine checkup.

What is pleural mesothelioma?

It is a rare form of cancer that develops from cells of the mesothelioma, the protective lining that covers many of the internal organs of the body. Mesothelioma is most commonly caused by exposure to asbestos. Find out more information here.

Heather’s doctor informed her she had only fifteen months to live.

After the initial shock subsided, Heather and her husband Cameron embarked upon a search to find the best mesothelioma treatment care available. Their search led them to the Dr. David Sugarbaker, a renowned mesothelioma surgeon at the Boston based Brigham and Women’s hospital. Dr. Sugarbaker recommended a new surgical procedure that had several risks but also carried the promise for the best outcome. With the support of her husband and family, Heather agreed to have the surgery.

Today, Heather is a ten-year mesothelioma cancer survivor with a mission. Determined to provided hope and inspiration to mesothelioma patients, Heather shares her story as keynote speaker at conferences and through social media forums. And she celebrates Lung Leaving Day.

What is Lung Leaving Day?

Heather and her sister decided to commemorate her journey with a special ceremony. Each year, on February 2nd, the two sisters encourage people around the world to write their biggest fears on a plate and smash the plate into a fire. A beautiful and powerful symbol of taking control and overcoming your fears.

heatherfire2heatherfire

Heather’s trailer


Heather’s journey reminded me of the following poem by Sri Chinmoy…

Hope
Knows no fear.

Hope dares to blossom
Even inside the abysmal abyss.

Hope secretly feeds
And strengthens
Promise.

Where to find Heather…

Website | Facebook | Twitter