Last January, I was on the verge of abandoning my writing dream. I was letting it die a slow death because I was consumed by negative thoughts.
Was I good enough?
Would anyone want to read the two novels that were languishing in a drawer?
If I let this dream go, what would take its place?
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Usually, I skim over my horoscope, smiling or frowning at the message and then promptly forget the specifics. But this past week has been different. Each day, the message has referred to the potent “monster moon” that is passing through this evening.
What is a monster moon?
It is the full moon that occurs when several planets meet at hard angles. Tonight, as the moon grows full, Venus, Mars and Uranus will form an approximate right angle to Pluto. While all of this is invisible to the naked eye, there is concern about the potent tug of war between these feisty planets.
What does that mean?
The annual full moon in Libra signals an increase in proposals and handshakes. That may not be not the case today. Some astrologers are predicting more shouting than listening, especially in circumstances involving weak relationships and unclear goals. Several horoscopes have hinted that the impact of this powerful moon could be felt over a longer period, four days before and four days after March 27th.
What can we do?
Strengthen those weak relationships…Firm up those goals…Don’t go looking for trouble.
Namaste
Yesterday, feminist icon Gloria Steinem celebrated her 79th birthday. Still beautiful and wiser than ever, she is an inspiration to all women. Her name will be forever associated with the women’s rights movement.
Whenever I need a pick-me-upper, I pick up one of her books and, if I’m in a hurry, I recall her famous quotes.
Some of us are becoming the men we want to marry.
We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons…but few have the courage to raise our sons more like daughters.
Most women are one man away from welfare.
God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there’s no turning back.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined place.
If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?
Hope is a very unruly emotion.
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
What is your favorite Gloria Steinem quote?
I’m glad Oprah decided to spend another Super Soul Sunday with Dr. Brené Brown. Yesterday’s show focused on shame and fear and how they rule our existence. A joy-filled hour packed with aha moments, so many that I will probably watch the telecast several times to make sure I haven’t missed one.
When Dr. Brown started to study shame, she discovered that the decision to study shame had led to the death of many academic careers. No one wants to talk about the most human and primitive of emotions, one that Dr. Brown so aptly described as an intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging.
She also differentiated between shame and guilt, demonstrating the power of our words.
I’m bad vs I did something bad.
I’m a mistake vs I made a mistake.
I was particularly impressed by the response Dr. Brown’s daughter gave the teacher who commented: “You’re messy.” Displaying a healthy dose of self confidence, the child replied, “I may be making a mess, but I’m not messy.”
As I listened to the telecast, I thought back to my own cancer experience. During those ten months, I discovered who could and who could not bear the weight of my new story. I will always be grateful to the five angels who called me that first weekend and offered specific help. No pity parties or flying debris from those wonderful friends. Thankfully, I did not have to endure too many insufferable comments: “Oh, you poor thing!”; “Bless your heart.” I was moved by the friend who approached me a year later and apologized for not being there for me.
Quotable Quotes…
Unused creativity is not benign. It gets metastasized as rage, judgment, shame…
Calm people are breathers. They breathe and ask questions.
Cultivate laughter, song and dance. We need to let go of control and cool.
Cool is an emotional strait-jacket.
If there is secrecy, silence and judgment, shame grows exponentially and creeps into every corner and crevice of life.
Shame is the #1 classroom management tool.
Shame can’t survive empathy.
Shame depends upon us buying into the belief that we are unworthy.
Keep the shadow up front because it can only take you down from behind.
Share with people who have earned the right to your story.
Some people confuse connection with the opportunity to one-up you.
Love and belonging are irreducible needs.
Community building.
An unexpected perk from the workshop, “Attract and Engage Customers with Social Media,” offered by Intrigue Media.
In addition to delivering an excellent presentation chock-full of information about Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, Online Marketing Specialist Vanessa Young succeeded in creating a sense of community among the four participants.
Photographer. Lawyer. Furniture Store Manager. Writer. Under normal circumstances, we would never have connected, let alone supported each other on our respective journeys. But that’s exactly what happened yesterday evening in the warm, inviting house at the corner of Westmount and Speedvale in Guelph, Ontario.
As Vanessa outlined fifteen key points to social media success, she included personal anecdotes and examples. We also shared and felt comfortable enough to ask questions and solicit advice throughout the presentation. So much so, that we went thirty minutes overtime!
My favorite nuggets…
Driving home, so many possibilities whirled through my mind.
Molte grazie Vanessa Young & Intrigue Media!
Kindred spirits.
It was obvious on yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday that Oprah and Dr. Brené Brown were forging a long-term relationship as they discussed the most uncomfortable of topics: vulnerability.
The fifth generation Texan had her own issues with vulnerability. A bit surprising for the academic who had devoted many years of research to vulnerability, courage and shame. In 2007, she realized that she wasn’t walking the talk and had a full-on breakdown. After intense therapy, she had a spiritual awakening and revealed her deepest fears at a 2010 TED talk on vulnerability. She became an internet celebrity, reaching over eight million people with that talk.
But the story doesn’t end there.
As Dr. Brown become more popular, the critics came out of the woodwork. She ignored her husband’s advice and read the anonymous negative comments. Devastated, she retreated and spent ten hours watching Downton Abbey reruns. She researched the period and rediscovered the famous Theodore Roosevelt quote:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena…if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat.
Dr. Brown decided she wanted to be the man in the arena and came up with her own personal mantra:
If you’re not in the arena getting your butt occasionally kicked, I am not interested in your feedback.
Throughout the telecast, she offered wonderful insights on the scarcity culture, imperfection, and living wholeheartedly. I am looking forward to reading her third book, Daring Greatly.
Quotable Quotes…
You can’t get courage without walking through vulnerability.
#1 casualty of the scarcity culture is vulnerability.
There is no innovation or creativity without failure. Period.
God is the diving reminder of our inherent worthiness.
There is no joy without gratitude.
When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding. Faith – (Vulnerability + Mystery) = Extremism Authenticity is a choice we make every day, sometimes every hour. The ego is the hustler and the message is “hustle for your worth.”
Each year, I look forward to seeing at least one Nicholas Sparks movie. It’s that light-hearted entertainment filled with commitment-shy lovers trying to hide dark, unhappy pasts.
Safe Haven is no exception.
The movie opens with a violent episode. A blood-splattered brunette is running down a dark Boston street.
Abuse. Murder. These are the thoughts that immediately come to mind as we watch an obsessed detective ( David Lyons) launch a nation-wide man-hunt for her.
The scene changes abruptly when a blonde haired Katie (Julianne Hough) finds herself in the quiet seaside town of Southport, North Carolina. There, she decides to seek refuge and reinvent herself.
Content with working at a waterside cafe and redecorating her secluded cabin, Katie resists the overtures of her persistent neighbour Jo (Cobie Smulders) and Alex (Josh Duhamel), a single dad who runs the local grocery mart with the help of his children.
The romance heats up as the town prepares for the July 4 festivities and fireworks.
While parts of the movie are predictable, there is a surprise twist at the end.
Facts tell—stories sell.
That’s only one of the many nuggets delivered by Communication Coach Sue Johnston at yesterday’s GWIN (Guelph Women in Networking) meeting.
During a lively interactive session, she guided us through the Three Ps—Purpose, People, Point—needed to craft an effective and memorable 60-second introduction. Working through her double-sided handout, I quickly discovered several holes in my own pitch for Between Land and Sea. While I wasn’t ready to share my personal introduction, I was impressed by the women who stood up and spoke eloquently and passionately about their businesses.
Throughout the presentation, Sue stressed the following points:
Keep it simple—three points maximum.
Make it about the audience.
Invite action and make it easy for the audience to take it.
A seasoned speaker, Sue Johnston delights in helping people find their voices and tell their stories.
Quotable Quote…
Men will want to hear a story if you use a metaphor they will understand.
Yesterday evening, Toastmasters from three area clubs—Agvantage, Town and Gown, Co-operators—met for the Area 66 Evaluation and International Speech Contests.
Speech contests are a Toastmaster tradition. Each year, thousands of Toastmasters worldwide compete in the Humorous, Evaluation, Table Topics and International Speech contests. Competition begins at the club level and winners progress through the area, division and district levels. The international competition has two additional levels—semi-final and international.
Exciting. Nerve Wracking. Challenging. Nail Biting.
The tension in the room was palpable as we listened to nine contestants throughout the evening. Each speaker brought a different energy to the room. The audience responded favorably to speeches about nicknames, world citizenship, Olympic mittens, lactose intolerance and the road to publication. And we listened attentively to well-delivered evaluations by new and seasoned toastmasters.
Blake Kurisko won the Evaluation Contest and I won the International Speech Contest.
Special thanks to our host, Cooperators TM, for staging a well-organized contest. We appreciate the contributions of contest chair Glen Oxford, Chief Judge Eric Maginnnis, Division W Governor Moustapha Oke, and Area 66 Governor Mark Hofstee.
She was on top of the world. Psychologist. Bestselling author. Ordained minister. Thirty-five appearances on the Oprah show.
And then life happened to Dr. Robin Smith.
She was in a serious car accident. Her home was flooded and later burglarized. Her beloved pet died. She lost her money.
She lost her way.
Yesterday, Dr. Smith sat down with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday to share her experiences and reveal how she found light after the darkest of days.
In a very moving hour, Dr. Smith described the hunger or “emotional anorexia” that permeated most of her life. This state occurs whenever people call themselves full while living off the crumbs of life.
Throughout the telecast, Oprah and Dr. Smith referred to the following quote from C.S. Lewis:
Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
At first, Dr. Smith wondered why God had to get so loud, but eventually realized that a megaphone was needed to rouse a dying Robin. The universe did not want her to settle for emotional crumbs and call it a meal.
While healing, Dr. Smith started writing her book, Hunger: The Truth About Being Full. The experience was a cathartic one that helped her reclaim parts of herself. She was only able to release the book once she was shackle-free.
Quotable Quotes…
Universe is on time and on point, every moment.
The soul is an unshackled core of energy and light that mirrors back its own beauty.
It only takes two, God and I are enough!
Adulthood is here to address the unfinished business of childhood.
Freedom is being who you are, unapologetically.
Put your vulnerability in the light and it will be embraced and feel warm.
Be quiet enough to hear God’s voice so you can find your own. (Dr. Smith’s parents)
Joanne Guidoccio 