It sounds so simple and so easy, but it takes guts to give up your idea (or someone else’s) of the “perfect life” and change direction. This is especially true if you or a close relative has invested time and money into a venture that once fitted your vision.
Walking away from any well-worn path can be a long and painful struggle for everyone involved. It helps to be surrounded by supportive family and friends, but ultimately the decision to change direction is yours and yours alone. Before embarking on this difficult and challenging journey, take time to reflect on your present situation and ask yourself the hard questions:
What do you really want?
Are you prepared to choose courage over comfort? By the way…you can’t have both.
If you need inspiration, follow the journeys of twelve high achievers who took time to reflect upon their less-than-desirable situations, make the decisions to leave, and then launch spectacular second acts.
A doctor was taking her four-year-old to preschool. The doctor’s stethoscope was on the car seat and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
“Be still, my heart,” thought the physician, “my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!”
Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
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Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his father if there was any chance of him getting a car for his birthday.
“Okay,” said his father. “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. If you can get your grades up to A’s and B’s, study your Bible, and get your hair cut, I’ll consider the matter very seriously.”
A couple of weeks later, Danny went back to his father who said, “I’m really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you’ve put into your Bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I’m very disappointed that you haven’t had your hair cut yet.”
Danny quickly responded, “While studying the Bible, I noticed that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson, and even Jesus had long hair.”
“I’m aware of that,” replied his father, “but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?”
Source: St. Joseph’s Church bulletin
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My husband and I were standing in line at the ATM in Lucca, a small town in Italy. History, music, religion, and art surrounded us, including ramparts, a statue of the composer Giacomo Puccini, and a beautiful cathedral.
Ahead of us, two tourists were chatting, “You can always tell we’re near civilization,” said one to the other, “when there’s a bank machine close by.”
This past week, many of my online friends announced their words for 2015. While I had never participated in this annual exercise, I realized (much to my surprise) that I had inadvertently stumbled upon my own word for the year.
Toward the tail end of 2014, I encountered several personal and health challenges. My first responses were negative ones that fortunately did not linger beyond a day or two. I purposely chose to end the woe-is-me talk and steer clear of “whatever” or “It is what it is.”
Instead, my thoughts gravitated toward a different word, an old-fashioned word – ONWARD. The idea of moving forward, despite less-than-desirable circumstances, inspired me to consult other health professionals, tweak habits, and jump-start a prolonged writer’s block.
While many of my issues have been resolved, I have chosen to keep ONWARD as my go-to word for 2015, maybe even longer.
ONWARD ♦ AVANTI ♦ EN AVANT ♦ WEITER ♦ ADELANTE ♦ AVANTE
Today, we have life coach Catherine Simmons sharing intimate details of the challenges and triumphs she has experienced on her life journey.
Here’s Catherine!
As a kid I was a bit of a dreamer. I was very keen to believe in the impossible even though my parents are very practical people. My favorite show on TV was “The Tomorrow People”, and it was this show that tuned me in to science fiction, and the possibility of humans evolving special powers – like telepathy.
Growing up I was always the quiet one, and still am in many situations. Even so, I loved drama and singing in the choir. I never thought of these as practical career moves though, instead I pursued my love of biology and how life works.
After leaving high school, I followed a degree course in Applied Biology. This appeared to be a very sensible undertaking as it wasn’t purely academic and would allow me to get a “proper” job. My first paid employment after graduating was as a lab assistant, where my boss was leading research into muscular dystrophy. While there, I gained practical experience in the principles of how genes are expressed to make our physical bodies the way they are. I also obtained a Master’s degree in Molecular Genetics by research, and could have continued my studies….
….but I didn’t feel like I was making any practical inroads towards helping to cure disease. It seemed like there was a lot of study of “parts” of the biology, and no way to really fix it. I was disenchanted, so I took a job at a Biotech company that was in the research stage of drug development. This was surely going to be a way to help people! However, although everyone worked really hard we didn’t get any closer to success, and the company folded after I’d been there five years. During that time I’d developed a knack for being a support person and facilitator, and was lucky to land a position at one of the UK’s red-brick Universities. The position involved being lab support services manager for their shiny new biotech incubator building. It was this third job that was the start of my metamorphosis.
The Millennium had arrived, and it was a time of excitement, busyness, and life events: both my husband and I had new jobs, we moved house (before selling our home) and had two children under three (one of which who was not impressed about going to sleep at night!). On top of that we had begun plans to immigrate to Canada. My job led me to suffer the stress of inertia, due to University politics and the newness of the operation, and my mind was constantly engaged in trying to come up with new ideas and solutions. Eventually the constant thinking and lack of sleep led me to experience a psychotic break.
Having never taken drugs in college, suddenly being thrown into a psychedelic experience was bizarre and frightening. All my senses were working overdrive and I was talking ten to the dozen. I dare say that if this has happened to me in the Dark Ages they would have said I was possessed by demons. I ended up in hospital for a while with the other folks who were having an “alternate” experience of life. It was certainly an interesting time. After I was over the initial shock of it, the “little biologist observer” in my head found it more and more interesting – I was getting a new perspective. Sure, I always knew that everything I saw and sensed was perceived in my mind, and was a construction based on past experience…but to realize that this was true first hand, was a revelation. Not only that, there were things that I was perceiving that were outside of my “normal” experience.
The drugs to make me well again brought me down into a deep depression for some time, but when I’d recovered enough to start to begin processing the experience, I became interested in the more metaphysical aspects of life. I decided to take a course in Reiki to see what it was like. To be honest I was skeptical, especially about the attunement process, but to my amazement I could actually feel the energy. I didn’t believe this was any kind of special power, but just that most of us live our lives being unaware of it.
Following our move to Canada I had another breakdown (too much excitement too soon) and was again admitted to the hospital. This time I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Having a fresh label of mental illness was a huge blow, especially as I didn’t have the first clue what it was or what it would mean for me. Despite the diagnosis, I landed a job at an early stage Bio-pharmaceutical company and worked there grudgingly for nine years.
I loved the people I worked with, and enjoyed helping them find solutions to their problems and help with project goals, but in the back of my mind I always knew that this was not a solution to the eradication of disease. The integrated treatment model and personalized medicine with teams of professionals with a variety of skills seemed so much more sensible. Plus, I knew from all my experiences that the mind has such a huge effect on the health of the body and vice versa. The more I researched and thought about the subject in my own time, the more I learned there were others out there who had already gone down this path.
One of my favorite leaders in the field is Bruce Lipton. As a biologist he explains so well how our thoughts affect the way our genes are expressed, and affect our lives so much more that we imagine. I was drawn also to energy psychology and Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) as ways to change limiting beliefs and enable not only to cure certain diseases but to move forward from trauma.
After a divorce in 2010 and losing my job in 2012, it seems I was finally in a position to pursue my real dream of becoming a life coach. I took courses in EFT and became a qualified practitioner. There was still something missing though. The EFT was working, but up to a point. I knew about the Law of Attraction and in 2014 enrolled in Christy Whitman’s Quantum Success Coaching Academy – I now feel I’m building on my skill set to really support clients to value themselves for their uniqueness and to design lives for themselves that they love. I really believe that we have the capacity to heal ourselves from depression, lack of self-confidence, overwhelm, trauma and the diseases that are associated with them. The first step we have to take is to ask for help and support to do it.
Bio
Catherine Simmons is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Speaker. In 2014 she was a panelist at Professional Development Week for the Canadian Association of Pharmacy Students and Interns in Vancouver, and a speaker at the Canadian Mental Health Association’s Bottom Line Conference in Calgary. Her mission for 2015 and beyond is to support women to reach their life and career goals in a way that values their individuality and uniqueness.
Growing up, we celebrated the feast of the Epiphany with a special meal and treats. While my brothers and I attached more significance to Christmas Day, my mother considered January 6th to be the Italian Christmas. She would regale us with tales of la Befana, the friendly witch who delivered gifts to good children and lumps of coal to the bad ones.
While I’ve heard many variations of this tale, I prefer my mother’s version.
The Magi stopped at la Befana’s house on their way to visit Baby Jesus. The gracious hostess treated them to a meal and offered them shelter for the night. She also gave them directions. Touched by her hospitality, the three kings invited her to accompany them on their journey, but she declined. She had too much housework. After they left, she changed her mind and decided to join them. She packed up some toys for the newborn child and set off on the journey. She never caught up to them. Disappointed but practical, she decided to share her bounty of toys. To this day, she delivers her gifts to Italian children on the night before the Epiphany.
Does anyone else celebrate the feast of the Epiphany? I would love to hear about your traditions.
Today, we have Soul Mate author Camille Faye sharing her inspiring journey from existential crisis to literary publication.
Here’s Camille!
In 2009 I went through an existential crisis. My son was 18 months old, I had an adjunct teaching job, and I was driving myself nuts trying to care for him all day while teaching freshman Comp classes at night. If I’d had a full-time teaching job (including that much fuller paycheck), I’d probably have stuck it out, but my course load had dwindled to one class per semester so I was making a pittance.
To me, this situation spelled F-A-I-L-U-R-E.
Up until that point in my life, I’d been the classic overachiever and did well in school, so that’s probably why I chose teaching as a profession in the first place. One hard lesson I learned during this dark-night-of-the-soul period is that life isn’t completely under our control. No matter how perfectly you lay the ground work, you can’t force things to turn out the way you expected.
Since my teaching career wasn’t taking off, I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom. I also decided to pursue a huge bucket list item: write a novel. After all, I’d been a college writing instructor and never seemed to have the time to do my own writing.
Within a year, I’d produced my first version of my novel, Voodoo Butterfly, and gotten a full manuscript request by an agent working in New York City. Needless to say, I was absolutely over the moon. But he didn’t pick it up.
So I joined a critique group, The Lit Ladies, and over the next few years about a dozen agents and editors requested full or partial manuscripts. None were quite the right fit. Doubt crept into my mind and I thought many times about just giving up. And I wrote this…
My cells tried to run the old programming of uncertainty, hopelessness, and inadequacy, resisting the spiritual transformation I’d just undergone. Doubt crawled inside of me like thousands of tiny spiders.
These lines from Voodoo Butterfly describe how my main character, Sophie, feels as she tries to adjust to her new life as the owner of a New Orleans voodoo shop. Sophie, a native Missourian, knows nothing about voodoo or her strange surroundings in the crazy city of NOLA. Over the course of the novel, facing down inner demons becomes Sophie’s specialty and I used her character to help face down the monsters of doubt and despair in my own life.
Becoming a writer was my big picture so, rather than give up on that dream, my stubborn German ancestry kicked in and I kept on. In 2013, I entered a few Romance Writers of America chapter contests and–hallelujah!–Voodoo Butterfly finaled in the NW Houston Lone Star Contest. My publisher and editor, Debby Gilbert of Soul Mate Publishing, was one of the judges and she offered me a contract.
Since the release of the book in October of 2014, Voodoo Butterfly has had steady sales and lots of awesome reviews on Amazon. One day I’d like to get back in the classroom, but for right now I focus on the two life areas that make my soul happy: family life and writing.
I have two bits of advice for anyone who wants to pursue a writing career.
1. Write every day. I commit to 15 minutes which normally turns into about an hour or two.
2. Follow your bliss. If it’s not writing, that’s okay. Whatever it is, when things get hard, do as Dori says and, “Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!”
Blurb
When twenty-five-year old Sophie Nouveau inherits her grandmother’s voodoo shop she knows nothing about voodoo. Or her family’s history of Mind Changers who have the power to change evil people into good. To complicate matters, someone doesn’t want Sophie in New Orleans and sends a series of death threats to scare her away from her new enchanted life.
Tipped off by her grandmother’s ghost, Sophie realizes her mind changing spell’s been missing one magic ingredient: true love. If Sophie cannot experience transformative love, she cannot make her spell work, and she will be powerless to fight back when confronted by the one who wants her dead.
Bio
Camille Faye lives in Missouri, loves on her family, and writes during the baby’s nap time. She grew up in a haunted house, which sparked her fascination with the paranormal. Before becoming a writer, she reported for an NBC affiliate and taught writing at universities in Missouri and Illinois. She found the muse for her debut novel, Voodoo Butterfly, during a family trip to New Orleans where she dreamt of a woman who had the power to change evil people good. The Northwest Houston RWA named her novel, Voodoo Butterfly, a 2013 Lone Star Contest finalist. Camille’s stories are inspired by her travels to 27 countries and counting!
Today, we have author Joyce Ann Brown chatting about multiple career changes, the power of seven, and her debut novel, CATastrophic Connections.
Here’s Joyce!
“The only thing that is constant is change.” The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, must have had plenty of life under his belt to come up with that truth. I used to think change had something to do with the number seven. Moves to new states, graduations, marriage, children, and career changes all seemed to happen for me at age seven, fourteen, twenty-one, and so on—or when there was a seven in my age.
The year of my birth has a seven in it, and my age at the time I had my first child has a seven in it. I moved to different states at ages seven and fourteen. At age twenty-one, I graduated, married, and started teaching. You get the picture. I may have had to stretch for the seven connections after that, but I’m incredulous that the years with sevens seem to fit the big changes in my life. Or—maybe the big changes in my life fit the years with sevens.
One thing is for sure—my first article was published in 2009, and my first book was published in 2014, a year when my age has a seven in it. They punctuate the most recent chapter in my life—Writer, Author—titles which mean I’m doing what I want to do.
I majored in education, not creative writing or journalism, even though I wanted to write for a living. A college history instructor once told me, “You write well. Have you thought about history as a major? You could research and write history.” But by then I was focused on getting an elementary teaching certificate so I could help support my family and be off during school vacations with my future children.
Teaching and raising my children, then, took my time and energy for years. For a short period, I worked as a professional story teller. It was fun, but not lucrative. Too bad. At one point (in one of those seven years) I earned my master’s degree and became a school library media specialist. I still wanted to find more time to write and would have loved to call Writer my profession.
Truth to tell, I did write during those years. There were stories and plays for the students, multimedia presentations, newsletter and journal articles, and my personal journal. One summer I wrote a children’s book. After several rejection letters and the return of the school year, my manuscript found its permanent home under scarves in a dresser drawer. Nevertheless, writing helped me fulfill my passion to be creative.
Not until I qualified for my pension did I make the decision to pursue writing in a serious way. I took college level creative writing classes, attended local writing workshops, and read with an eye to style and technique. Professionals advise: to be published, one should be published. Hm.
So I wrote articles and stories for local publications and for contests and was surprised when, voila, my articles were purchased and my stories won prizes. Real money for my written work! Whoopee!
A few years ago, I took a class in mystery writing. I was hooked. My first book, CATastrophic Connections is published. It’s the first book of my Psycho Cat and the Landlady Mystery series. Now, I’m working on the promotion phase and book two. Whoever said, “Going public with your creativity is like walking out with your pants down” understood book promotion. I’m having fun with it, though. Must be an exhibitionist.
What will my next act be? Beginning in 2016, perhaps (seven years after my first work in a year divisible by seven), or in 2017. The making of the Hallmark movie or a TV miniseries based on my mysteries? I could handle that.
Blurb
When Psycho Cat alerts Beth to her step-niece Adrianna’s disappearance, the klutzy landlady careens into action. She and her no-nonsense sister question Adrianna’s associates. They discover that the police suspect the young woman of embezzling a huge sum of money from the Kansas City construction company where she works. Believing Adrianna has been framed, Beth finds clues which lead her to the U.S. Virgin Islands. After a series of bizarre detours, she finds her niece at a spectacular island hideaway.
Once home, the niece is not cleared of the theft charge. Instead, someone murders the company bookkeeper, and Adrianna is the primary suspect. Beth must try to prove her step-niece innocent by unraveling connections among unknown construction company villains in Kansas City and in the Virgin Islands. Shadowy characters follow and intimidate Beth and her family at every turn. Someone else could end up dead. It’s one thing for Beth to skirt danger on her own, but when her loved ones are threatened—Beth and Psycho Cat will fight to the end.
The award-winning story is the first in the Psycho Cat and the Landlady Mystery series.
Bio
Joyce Ann Brown is a landlady, storyteller, retired school Library Media Specialist, former classroom teacher, former realtor, and a freelance writer and award-winning author. CATastrophic Connections is the first book in the author’s Psycho Cat and the Landlady Mystery series.
Since July 2013, I have interviewed over seventy women from three different continents and shared their reinvention stories in the Second Acts series on my blog. Originally, I had intended to focus primarily on boomer women and their older sisters, but I quickly discovered that reinvention cannot be contained or limited to a particular age group. And so I widened my search and included women of all ages—millenial to septuagenarian.
I am grateful for all the wonderful insights and advice these women have generously shared with me and my readers.
Today, we have coach and speaker Saskia Jennings sharing an extraordinary journey that spanned two continents.
Here’s Saskia!
My life was that common routine of getting up to go to work, come home to cook, watch TV or visit a friend. My marriage had lost the fire and we divorced.
They say: “Life starts at 40″… And I was excited, I couldn’t wait to get there.
But it wasn’t much of a party. I lost my coveted job (burnout “they” called it), and I faced major physical, emotional, mental and spiritual challenges. My life had turned upside down, total midlife crisis, although I didn’t realize it at the time.
I would say that my First Act ended confused, disappointed and feeling lost…
Longing for something new and exciting I took on a new job, for that needed “security” and I went back to school. I entered a four year part-time program in alternative medicine. I loved it, four evenings in the week in school, lots of interesting learning and I healed myself in the meantime.
I also started exploring Canada and from the moment I set foot on Canadian ground, I hopped in a car and left the big City behind. I felt home in the forest, at the lakes and stargazing in the wide open skies. “I belong here” I said to myself, I knew it!
My mind’s eye saw future images, a vision and my almost ‘out of body’ experiences gave me a real good feeling, although it was scary sometimes!
So I decided to start my Second Act. In 2005 at the age of 45, I made the decision to move from Rotterdam in The Netherlands to Northern Ontario in Canada, leaving my small family behind in Holland. On my travels, I had met the man of my dreams and he lived deep in the forest.
Now, that was different! No neighbours, no public transportation. I had no car, no bank account, no high speed internet. What we did have was a warm home, my very first vegetable garden that was shown to me in my vision, wildlife, forest and lakes and each other. I took one step at a time: getting my own car so I could make new friends in town, take courses and get a job. I also retrained as a Reflexologist and Intuitive Healer and started my own business Creating Being Well on the side.
Oh and in case you are wondering… I LOVE SNOW!
My Second Act threw another challenge at me. I ended the marriage after five years due to a lack of trust, questionable money management, and some abusive issues. No, I didn’t get physically harmed. All other areas in my life however were in turmoil. I felt small, unworthy, neglected (mostly by myself) and my self-esteem had reached an all-time low. I felt terrified for two years. I kept pleasing my “marriage” and it wasn’t until I got sick again that I tapped into my trust and courage, reconnecting with my own values.
No more procrastination! I left the marriage, found a safe place in the forest and started all over again. Time to transform my midlife crisis into Midlife BLISS!™
I invested my remaining savings in hiring a coach and taking new directions and training.
I started moving forward, in growing trust and faith. The biggest AHA’s and celebrations were about acknowledging myself, who I truly am. Valuing my gifts and skills. It sparked renewed confidence. My energetic, dynamic, courageous and caring nature started to come to full bloom, one colorful bud at a time. I became an inspiring messenger, coach and speaker, a Catalyst for Midlife BLISS!™
If I’m a true Connector, how could that help me take the next step?
The answer was simple and so clear: “MOVE!”
In mid 2013, I packed up again, left the forest behind and moved to Toronto. I’m still a bit in culture shock, and the best part is that I’m coming into alignment with who I am. The vision board I made three years ago is coming alive: growing into the joy and abundance of Midlife BLISS!™
I am allowing myself to thrive and be successful and happy, I don’t need any more approval from anyone. And I love teaching this deep transformational work to other women who are stuck on midlife crossroads.
When I talk in front of an audience of women and usually wearing my favorite orange jacket, I’m on fire! And my contagious energy brings smiles, warms hearts and helps women become more empowered. That’s what makes my heart jump and I’m busy spreading Midlife BLISS!TM over the world. My mentor holds me accountable, my clients, my ‘peeps’, my new connections all support me wholeheartedly. I have my retreats in nature mapped out: Women in the Woods: Ignite your Midlife BLISS!™
I am grateful. What’s next?
“You can’t do it alone, and you have to do the work” my favorite quote, by Werner Erhard.
Bio
Saskia Jennings is a true Catalyst for Midlife BLISS!TM, intuitive Midlife Coach and Sacred Money Archetypes Cert. Coach, Trainer, Author and Speaker. With her signature system: Transform your Midlife Crisis into Midlife BLISS!™ she specializes in helping women like you to turn your fears into real midlife fulfilment, honoring your self-worth, overcome midlife money challenges and finding your true essence. She runs her programs locally and worldwide, online and on-site.
Upcoming events – 2015
January 29-31st: “Unite Your Health & Wealth” Workshop Facilitator and Speaker at the virtual LIVE summit: Women and Money: http://womenandmoneysummit.com
Unite your Health & Wealth is a collaboration of 2 caring, passionate women: Sharon Carne (http://soundwellness.com) and Saskia Jennings
February 27-Mar. 1: Women in the Woods, Ignite Your Midlife BLISS!™ Location: “The Birches” at beautiful Lake Joseph in Muskoka (Parry Sound, Ontario).
