What is the Difference Between Making Love to Someone and Making love with Them?

I’m happy to welcome Wild Rose Press author Chrys Fey. Today, Chrys shares an intriguing post about making love and her new release, A Fighting Chance.

Here’s Chrys!

In A Fighting Chance, there’s a moment when Amanda talks about a romance book she read a long time. In that story, the hero told the heroine that he wouldn’t make love to her but rather with her. I took that from my real life. When I was a young teen, I was reading a romance and came across those lines spoken by the sexy hero to the beautiful heroine. (Don’t ask me what the title was, because I don’t remember. I couldn’t even tell you the author’s name, although I could guess a few authors I’d been reading at that time.) And those words, that emphasis struck me. In a good way. Yeah, I thought, there is a difference between making love to someone and making love with someone.

The wording “make love to someone,” which is the common phrasing known by many, sounds as though the other person is not a participant, that the person showing love and doing acts of love is the only one engaging. It sounds as though the receiver is doing just that…receiving and not giving. Maybe even being forced to receive when they don’t want to.

On the other hand, “make love with someone,” sounds as though both individuals are active participants, because you are doing this WITH another person, not TO another person. It’s like these phrasing: watch a movie with you, have dinner with you, play a board game with you. In all of those scenarios, you are doing something WITH a loved one. That’s why “make love with someone” is a beautiful and inclusive, accurate phrase for what is transpiring. You both are showing love and doing acts of love. You both are giving, as well as receiving.

Now, whenever I’m writing and have to talk about my characters making love for the first time, I always word it as “make love with.”

Read them slowly:

Make love to you.

Make love with you.

Can you see the difference now? 😊


*A FIGHTING CHANCE is Book 6 in the Disaster Crimes series, but it’s a spin-off featuring a new couple, so it can be read as a standalone.*

Thorn has loved Amanda from afar, giving her whatever she needs as a survivor of abuse—space, protection, and stability. He yearns to give her more, though, to share his feelings, kiss her, love her, but he’s worried the truth will frighten her away.

And Amanda is afraid. She’s scared of her attraction for Thorn. Most of all, she’s terrified of her ex-boyfriend, who is lurking nearby where no one can find him. When she grows closer to Thorn, Damon retaliates, jeopardizing their happy ending.

Up against an abusive ex and Mother Nature, do Thorn and Amanda have a fighting chance?

Book Links

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Amanda looked up from the current list of up-to-date payments for classes. A movement outside the glass storefront caught her eye. She tilted her head to see a man coming up the sidewalk from the side where the picnic bench sat. Through the vertical blinds, she glimpsed a square face—a short, rugged beard and long, dark hair pulled into a man bun. Her breath fled from her lungs. Her body went from icy cold to flaming hot in the span of a millisecond. She dropped to the floor and slid under the counter, beneath the ledge where they put their purses and cell phones.

“What—” Beth peeked at the windows. Then she snapped her fingers at April and pointed at the stools.

April jumped into action. She pushed the stools in so they blocked Amanda. The bell attached to the door jingled as April removed the jacket she wore and draped it across the stools, creating a curtain to shield Amanda.

From a crack, Amanda watched Beth move to stand in front of the twins, who were in their walkers playing peacefully. “I’m sorry, but we’re going to be closing.”

“I don’t give a shit. I’m here for Amanda.”

The sound of Damon’s voice had her heart beating even harder. That voice had haunted her nightmares, had come back to life in her memories.
Beth cocked her head to the side. “Who? There’s no one by that name here.”

“Don’t bullshit me. I know she works here.”

His voice was closer now.

Book Links

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Author’s Note: I wrote The Disaster Curse to answer a few lingering questions readers may have after reading A Fighting Chance, and to tie the whole series together with a neat, shiny, perfect little bow. Plus, there was one disaster that I hadn’t written about yet. *wink*

The Disaster Crimes Series:

*The Crime Before the Storm (prequel)
Hurricane Crimes (novella, #1)
Seismic Crimes (#2)
Lightning Crimes (free short, #2.5)
Tsunami Crimes (#3)
Flaming Crimes (#4)
Frozen Crimes (#5)
A Fighting Chance (spin-off, #6)
The Disaster Curse (short story, #7)

*Free exclusive story to newsletter subscribers.


TheFightingChance.org is a website dedicated to domestic violence and sexual assault awareness. Inspired by the Disaster Crimes series.


Prizes: Hurricane Crimes (Disaster Crimes 1) and Seismic Crimes (Disaster Crimes 2) eBooks (mobi or epub), Hurricane Crimes Playing Cards, Girl Boss Sign, and a Volcanic Blast Scented Candle

Enter here.

About the Author

Chrys Fey is author of the Disaster Crimes Series, a unique concept that blends disasters, crimes, and romance. She runs the Insecure Writer’s Support Group Book Club on Goodreads and edits for Dancing Lemur Press.

Website | Blog | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter | Amazon


Burnout and Natural Disasters

I’m happy to welcome Wild Rose Press author Chrys Fey. Today, Chrys shares a poignant post about a challenging period and her new release, Frozen Crimes.

Here’s Chrys!

In 2019, after suffering from writer’s burnout for two years, I did everything I could to get back to writing.

Since Seismic Crimes came out in April 22, 2016, I’d been publishing a Disaster Crimes book a year. Tsunami Crimes came out January 2017. And Flaming Crimes came out in January 2018, which was when I acknowledged my burnout. I was in a tough place. In my mind, I had to write Frozen Crimes and submit it to my publisher that year so it could be published in 2019. That pressure burned me out even more.

I wrote the first chapter with Beth, when she hears tapping at her bedroom window. I tried to write Chapter Two with Donovan, and I got one paragraph in and couldn’t get another word out. I knew what I had to write; it was plotted out, but I couldn’t. I was exhausted. Mentally and physically.

In 2018, I worked on healing myself and getting back to writing. (You can read about my struggle and what I did to reverse my burnout in Keep Writing with Fey: Sparks to Defeat Writer’s Block, Depression, and Burnout.)

In 2019, I was better, but still not writing as much as I usually did.

Finally, motivation struck. I wanted to have Frozen Crimes ready for my readers at Space Coast Book Lovers 2020, which meant I had to buckle down. (UPDATE: Due to Covid-19, the event was eventually canceled.)

I spent September 2019 writing Frozen Crimes. And I did it! I finished!

That same month, a historic winter storm hit Montana…after I spent all of September writing about a blizzard.

Being the author of a series centered around disasters is tough, because natural disasters are occurring more and more.

The same day Seismic Crimes had its world wide release, an earthquake hit Ecuador at a devastating 7.8 on the Richter scale. The earthquake in Seismic Crimes is a 7.4.

Let’s just say that I’m happy to be getting closer to ending this series.
Did you notice that?


I’m not quite done yet. 😊

When disasters strike around every corner, is it possible to have a happily-ever-after?


Beth and Donovan are expecting their first child. Life couldn’t get any better…until a stalker makes his presence known. This person sends disturbing messages and unsettling items, but it isn’t long before his menacing goes too far.

Hoping for a peaceful Christmas, Donovan takes Beth to Michigan. Days into their trip, a winter storm named Nemesis moves in with the goal of burying the state. Snowdrifts surround their house, and the temperature drops below freezing.

Except, the storm isn’t the only nemesis they must face. Everyone’s lives are at stake—especially that of their unborn child. Will they survive, or will they become a frozen crime?


The crunch of the shovel pounding into the snow and ice filled his ears. It was all he could hear. The rest of the street was silent beneath its wintry blanket. Breathing was difficult with the icy air clogging his lungs. His nose burned. His throat was dry and on fire. But he ignored it, focusing on his task.

Crack, crack, crack.

He jabbed the shovel into a hunk of snow. On the third hit, it shattered into several pieces. He scooped them up and flung them to the side. He surveyed what remained. There was one big ball in the middle of the path that needed to be dealt with next. He moved over to it and struck it. That one impact had it severing in two. He was about to hit it again when something crashed into the back of his head.

Explosions of white light danced over his vision. Pain enveloped his skull. The shovel slipped from his fingers. Blackness cloaked his mind, coaxing him into its depths.

Beth. Her name was a whisper in his head, as if his thoughts were being sucked into a wormhole.

His legs collapsed under his weight.

Cold. It seeped into him, consuming him. And then his consciousness fled down that same void that ate his thoughts.

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4 eBooks (Disaster Crimes 1-4: Hurricane Crimes, Seismic Crimes, Tsunami Crimes, Flaming Crimes) + Girl Boss Magnets (4), Inflatable Cup Holder (1), Adventure Fuel To-Go Cups (2), Anchor Fashion Scarf (1), Mermaid Nail Clippers (2), Citrus and Sea Salt Scented Candle (1), Snowflake Handmade Bookmark (1), Insulated Cooler Bag (1)

Eligibility: International

Number of Winners: One

Giveaway Ends: October 30, 2020 12:00am Eastern Standard Time

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To get the exclusive prequel to the Disaster Crimes series, sign up for Chrys’ newsletter. By signing up, you agree to receive Chrys Fey’s newsletter. After you confirm subscription, you will receive an email (so check your inbox and spam folder) with directions on where to snag your eBook copy of THE CRIME BEFORE THE STORM.

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About the Author

Chrys Fey is author of the Disaster Crimes Series, a unique concept that blends disasters, crimes, and romance. She runs the Insecure Writer’s Support Group Book Club on Goodreads and edits for Dancing Lemur Press.

Website | Blog | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter | Amazon

Tsunami Crimes Blog Tour

I’m happy to welcome The Wild Rose Press author Chrys Fey. Today, she’s chatting about her involvement with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and sharing her new release, Tsunami Crimes.

Here’s Chrys!

chrys-fey-cropped-2The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is for writers for all kinds to get together and share their insecurities without fear of judgement. There is a monthly blog hop on the first Wednesday where members can talk about their insecurities, woes, or give encouragement and advice. We also have a Facebook group, which is a place for writers to come to 24/7 to ask a question and receive the aid they need.

Last year, I was brought on by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the creator of IWSG, to start a newsletter for the group. On the last Wednesday of each month, I send out a free newsletter to all of our subscribers. In the issues, you can find a dozen or more links to helpful articles on writing/publishing/marketing, etc. There’s also three articles. One from an industry expert, which I have to secure by approaching experts for contributions. The second article is from an administrator, and the third is from an IWSG member.

Aside from the newsletter, I am very involved in the group. Whenever I come up with an idea for the group or website, I pass it on to Alex. One of those ideas was the optional monthly question for members who struggle with what to write in their IWSG Day posts. I come up with so many ideas that I’m sure Alex is sick of me. (haha) I also pitch in with all of the administrator duties, such as reading the anthology submissions and getting guests for the website. I do whatever is needed and more, because I truly love and appreciate the Insecure Writer’s Support Group.



Beth and Donovan have come a long way from Hurricane Sabrina and the San Francisco earthquake. Now they are approaching their wedding day and anxiously waiting to promise each other a lifetime of love. The journey down the aisle isn’t smooth, though, as they receive threats from the followers of the notorious criminal, Jackson Storm. They think they’ll be safe in Hawaii, but distance can’t stop these killers. Not even a tsunami can.

This monstrous wave is the most devastating disaster Beth has ever faced. It leaves her beaten, frightened. Is she a widow on her honeymoon? As she struggles to hold herself together and find Donovan, she’s kidnapped by Jackson’s men.

Fearing her dead, Donovan searches the rubble and shelters with no luck. The thought of her being swept out to sea is almost too much for him to bear, but the reality is much worse. She’s being used as bait to get him to fall into a deadly trap.
If they live through this disaster, they may never be the same again.

On SALE for $2.99!

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P.S. Hurricane Crimes and Seismic Crimes are on sale for 99 Cents!


Chrys Fey is the author of the Disaster Crimes Series. She is a blogger, reader, auntie, vegetarian, and cat Lover. Get Lightning Crimes (Disaster Crimes 2.5) for FREE!

Where to find Chrys…

Facebook| Twitter | Blog | Website | Amazon | Goodreads

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Top Ten with Chrys Fey

chrysfeyChrys Fey here. I am taking over Joanne’s blog to discuss heroes. Who doesn’t love a good hero? I sure do! And when I write or read, I prefer strong heroes. You know, those heroes that could literally sweep you off your feet. If that’s not enough to sell you on the merits of a strong hero, I’ve got more.

10 Reasons Why I Love Heroes with Titles

1. They are sexy!
2. Their jobs are fascinating. (Police officers, firefighters, soldiers, etc.)
3. They dedicate their lives to saving others.
4. They will do anything to protect those they love.
5. They are tough but can still be romantic.
6. Many of their scenes are exciting.
7. They can be hardheaded which makes for fun confrontations.
8. They make female readers swoon when they are intimate.
9. Their dialogue is entertaining because they can curse up a storm.
10. And they pair well with my strong heroines.

Chrys Fey’s Books

WitchofDeath_w9683_750 (2)Detective Reid Sanders doesn’t believe in the supernatural, but when he’s faced with a crime scene that defies the laws of nature, he has no other choice but to start believing. And solving a magical murder involves working with a witch.

Liberty Sawyer embodies the look of your classic evil witch, so, it’s no surprise when she uncovers the murderer is a witch that she becomes Reid’s number one suspect. If she can’t convince him otherwise, more people could lose their lives to dark magic, including her.

Amazon US | Amazon UK

GhostofDeath_w9682_750-1 (2)Jolie Montgomery, a twenty-one-year-old woman, wakes up in an alley next to her corpse. She has no memories of her murder or the night she died. She didn’t even see the killer’s face before he or she took her life. Wanting justice, Jolie seeks answers in the only way a ghost can…by stalking the lead detective on the case.

Avrianna Heavenborn is determined to find the person responsible for a young woman’s death. She gets closer to the killer’s identity with every clue she uncovers, and Jolie is with her every step of the way.

But if they don’t solve her murder soon, Jolie will be an earth-bound spirit forever.

Amazon US | Amazon UK | The Wild Rose Press | NOOK | KOBO


Chrys Fey is the author of Hurricane Crimes and 30 Seconds. She is currently working on the sequel to Hurricane Crimes that’ll serve as book two in the Disaster Crimes series.

When Fey was six years old, she realized her dream of being a writer by watching her mother pursue publication. At the age of twelve, she started writing her first novel, which flourished into a series she later rewrote at seventeen. Fey lives in Florida where she is waiting for the next hurricane to come her way.

Where to find Chrys…

Facebook | Blog | Website | Goodreads