Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant

Rhonda Harris aka Iyanla Vanzant was born in poverty, endured a childhood filled with fear, married at age fourteen and had three children by the age of twenty-one. She lived off welfare until she turned her life around by putting herself through college and law school. Later, she became an ordained minister, launched a self-help empire and sold more than eight million books.

An amazing story of transformation that merits more than one appearance on Super Soul Sunday.

Yesterday, Iyanla focused on her early years and the hard lessons she has learned along the way. She acknowledges her earlier self—Rhonda—and credits that wounded and sorrowful soul with helping her survive poverty, abuse and rape. When “Rhonda” no longer fit who she had become, Iyanla renamed herself as a symbol of starting anew.

Facing the truth is painful but necessary. Throughout her life, Iyanla dealt with many relationship and money issues that forced her to endure the labor pains of birthing that truth. It took her forty years to realize she was still seeking her father’s approval. When her daughter commented on their financial problems, Iyanla admitted that she had a “welfare mentality with a million dollar life.”

As she opened up, Iyanla Vanzant demonstrated how she found peace among the broken pieces of her life.

So many wonderful quotes…

When you find yourself in a new situation, everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface. Pause and take a breath.

If you are not living the life that’s in alignment with who you are today, you are living the generational pathology of who you used to be.

Look at your patterns. Pause and pay attention.

When your relationship with God is hit or miss, so is your life.

Iyanla’s definition of God—All there is.

All things are lessons that God will have you learn. (Course in Miracles)

I must have decided wrongly, because I’m not at peace. (Course in Miracles)

You can give but if it can’t be received, it’s like it was never given. (Oprah)

Looking forward to Part II next Sunday.

Meeting Your Rhinoceros

Each month, I look forward to reading Martha Beck’s column in Oprah Magazine. The Harvard-educated psychologist uses her extraordinary storytelling ability to help her readers create more satisfying and meaningful life experiences.

In Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, Beck urges us to embrace our wildness and carve out different lives for ourselves as she addresses two basic questions: “How the hell did I get here?” and “What the hell should I do now?”

Having read her previous bestsellers—Finding Your Own North Star, Steering by Starlight, Expecting Adam—I knew enough not to expect another pop cultural self-help book. And I wasn’t disappointed. This book has all the ingredients necessary to create positive change in your life, whether you are new to the spiritual path or a seasoned traveler.

Beck walks the walk and she crosses an ocean to do so. The book is based on her experiences in Londolozi, a game preserve in South Africa. Throughout the book, she talks about her encounters with the animals and the lessons she learned along the way.

Her excellent command of the language is evident in the following descriptions: “The rhino, half hidden behind a thorn bush, cocks her primordial-looking head—which is roughly the size of a grocery cart—and swivels her satellite-dish ears toward us” and “Because cheetah’s tongues are like industrial-grade sandpaper, it’s physically excruciating; with every kiss, the cheetah seems to be removing significant layers of skin.”

She does not hesitate to point out her own personal foibles, reflecting a self deprecating sense of humour. After providing us with the healthy ingredients for a green “gorilla” smoothie, she adds the following instructions: “Throw all this stuff in a blender, where it will form a lovely still life of deeply saturated color. Then push the button and wait until the whole thing looks as if you already ate it, then threw up. Really, it might not be pretty, but your body will love it.”

This book is intended for wayfinders, “people who feel an internal call to heal any authentic part of the world, beginning with their own true nature.” Throughout the book, Beck talks about gathering a team of these people. She demonstrates four simple tools for transformation—wordlessness, oneness, imagination, creation—and includes step-by-step instructions and guided reflections designed to get us out of our mental ruts.

As Martha Beck Beck says, “If you’re a born mender, you’ll pursue this in spite of yourself. And as you find it, you’ll automatically become the change you wish to see in the world, healing the true nature of the people and things around you.”

It’s the kind of book you don’t read in one sitting. Instead, you reflect on each chapter and then at the end, go back and reread it, gaining new insights along the way.

Oprah and Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

At age sixteen, author and Sufi mystic Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee experienced a shift in consciousness when he read the following Zen koan: The wild geese do not intend to cast their reflection, and the water has no mind to retain  their image.

Afterward, a door opened up within him and suddenly there was joy.

On yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday telecast, he spoke with Oprah about Sufism and the universal longing for love. It was interesting to learn that Sufism is inclusive of all religions and helps bridge the gap between the East and West.

I was impressed by this articulate mystic who is concerned with the state of our world. He believes that we are in a state of crisis, much deeper than Wall Street. He spoke at length about the three journeys: from God, to God and in God. Unfortunately, too many people ignore their divine natures and focus primarily on material accumulation. To get on the journey to God, something, usually tragedy, must wake them up. While describing the journey in God, he used Rumi’s words: a return to the root of the root of your own being.

When Oprah mentioned that many of her guests and viewers just want to be happy, Vaughan-Lee replied, “I think they want to be loved.”

Quotable Quotes…

If you go into the core of your being, there is only love or the longing for love.

In order to know God, the ego must be crucified.

For the Sufi, the heart has to break open. Most people are so closed, so contracted; it’s all about “me.”

In God I move and breathe and have my being. (One of Oprah’s mantas)

We are a feather on the breath of God. Hildegard of Bingen

A Blue Moon Farewell

It is a fitting farewell to Neil Armstrong, and I wonder if his family planned it that way.

This evening, we will see a rare blue moon, a second full moon in a calendar month. So, tonight’s moon is definitely worth gazing at, as we fondly remember the first man who walked on the lunar landscape.

My memories of Neil Armstrong go back to 1968, one year before that auspicious moonwalk that touched so many aspects of our culture.

It was an exciting time in my hometown of Sudbury, Ontario.

Astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were using Sudbury as a testing ground for their walk on the moon. Somehow, NASA had discovered that our bleak landscape—often compared to Hiroshima—would provide Aldrin and Armstrong with a ready-made lunar environment.

While we basked in the attention, the mayor and city council members were not too pleased with the negative publicity generated by this mixed blessing. The mining industry had done a great deal of damage to the local environment, releasing clouds of sulfur gas that affected the residents and nearby ecosystems. It wasn’t until the 1970s that the mining industry was finally forced to clean up their act.

That fall, the space program was the main focus of the Grade 9 science program and I remember clipping articles for my moon scrapbook and watching all the telecasts leading to the moonwalk on July 21, 1969.

Tonight, I intend to honor Neil Armstrong by winking at the blue moon.

Sudbury 2012

Oprah and Beasts of the Southern Wild

During a recent interview, President Obama asked Oprah if she had seen the movie, Beasts of the Southern Wild. Intrigued, Oprah decided to watch this fantasy drama and then added to the buzz surrounding this magical tale of hope and redemption.

On yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday, Oprah interviewed co-writer/director Benh Zeitlin and actors Dwight Henry and Quvenzhané Wallis.

Benh Zeitlin

This is the first feature film for the 29-year-old visionary who wanted to fill his life with wild, brave and good-hearted people. Struck by Hurricane Katrina and how people responded to it, Zeitlin decided to create an anthem to those courageous survivors who had held out for their homes and culture.

Dwight Henry

He was not looking for an acting job. Content with his bakery—later called Buttermilk Drop Bakery and Café—Henry served his delicious donuts to Zeitlin and the rest of the crew at the casting agency across the street. During a slow hour, he read for the part and was asked to return. Flattered, he refused the part because he had no intention of sacrificing his business for a possible acting career. But Zeitlin persisted, strongly believing that if Henry could start a bakery, he could be a lead actor in the film. Also, Henry had lived through Hurricane Katrina and would bring a passion to the part that no experienced actor could match.

Quvenzhané Wallis

Chosen over 4000 other possibilities, this miniature force of nature was only five years old when she auditioned for the role. While her reading abilities were limited, she impressed the film-makers with her improvisational talents. She also had a tremendous scream and the ability to burp on command.

Quotable Quotes…

Stand in the face of things that people say you can’t stand.

When you find someone who believes in you, take heed and respect it.

Everything in life has its own heartbeat.

Everybody loses the thing that made them. The brave men stay and watch it happen. They don’t run. (Hush Puppy)

Dearie: The Remarkable Life of Julia Child

When Bob Spitz was asked to escort an older woman in Sicily, he replied, “I don’t do that kind of work.” But he changed his mind when he heard the woman was Julia Child, admitting that he had a huge crush on the six-foot three-inch cooking icon.

During that month in Sicily, Julia poured out her entire life to Spitz, and he was smart enough to run a tape recorder. He took a nine-year detour to write The Beatles and then spent four years writing and researching Dearie: The Remarkable Life of Julia Child. The result is a beautifully crafted book which was released earlier this month. An excellent way to mark the centenary of Julia Child’s birth.

While there have been many other books and movies about Julia Child, Spitz has managed to breathe new life into her story, providing us with fresh information and insights into her remarkable character.

After graduating from Smith College, Julia was a lost soul. Her marks were less than stellar and she did not demonstrate any special talents. Her adviser commented, “She would do well in some organized charity or social service work…In any case, Julia’s family is wealthy. She will not need a job I do not believe.”

In her diary, Julia wrote, “I felt I had particular and unique gifts that I was meant for something, and was like no else.” She had to weather many misadventures before those gifts started to materialize and did not hit upon her true calling until the age of forty.

In other books and the movie Julie and Julia, great emphasis is placed on her marriage to soul mate, Paul Child. I was surprised to learn that it was not love at first sight, but a gradual deepening of affection. In an early letter, Paul wrote, “I believe she would marry me, but isn’t the right woman from my standpoint.” He questioned “the lack of worldly knowledge, the sloppy thinking, the wild emotionalism, the conventional framework.” They also appeared to be physically mismatched. Nevertheless, they married and enjoyed a decades-long love.

While in Paris, she learned French, attended the Cordon Bleu and spent hours honing her cooking techniques.  What was even more remarkable is the fact that she didn’t learn how to cook until age forty. She was all thumbs in the kitchen and had to be walked through the most basic tasks. One nephew commented, “The joke was she could burn water if she boiled it.”

It took six years for Julia and her collaborators to write Mastering the Art of French Cooking. As Julia and Paul moved through Europe, she continued testing and retesting each recipe until perfection was achieved. When Mastering the Art of French Cooking hit the stores, it was a phenomenal success. It also helped launch Julia’s career in public television at age fifty.

Julia remained independent all her life, actively living and cooking until her death at age 92.

Definitely a page turner–all 500+ pages!

Oprah and Rev. Ed Bacon

Rev. Ed Bacon doesn’t want everyone in church on Sundays. More concerned with filling hearts rather than filling pews, he has no problems with anyone who enjoys wonderful Sunday morning experiences elsewhere.

Taken aback by his statement, Oprah asked him to elaborate on spirituality, the main theme of yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday session. He came up with the following definition which resonated with Oprah and many of her followers on Twitter and Facebook.

Spirituality is the experience of feeling unconditionally loved so powerfully that you know there is some Power greater than you. And it fills you so much that you want to share that feeling with others.

He went on to discuss the difficulties encountered by people who choose to live in a house of fear. Dependent upon someone else’s dogma, these people are not interested in developing their own inner voices. Spirituality empowers people to think for themselves and make the choice to live in a house of love.

Throughout yesterday’s program, Bacon stressed the fact that everyone is equally advantaged before God and we should all be moving toward creating a human family.  He acknowledged the challenges and gave practical advice on dealing with anger and conflict.

Stop | Take a breath | Become an observer

I was very impressed by this extraordinary thinker, often referred to as the chief spiritual officer at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena. While reading about his early life, I discovered that Bacon was greatly influenced by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. A chance meeting at the Atlanta airport in 1967 inspired Bacon to reread the Bible using a different lens, one inspired by universal compassion.

Quotable Quotes…

The kingdom of God is within you. You are your own priest.

Satan and the ego are the same thing.

Save us from those who think evil is external.

In every moment, there is something sacred at stake.

You don’t order grace; it just comes.

The cockpit shakes the most just before breaking the sound barrier.

Spiritual nourishment at its best!

Margaret Atwood at Stratford

At yesterday’s Celebrated Writer Series in Stratford, Margaret Atwood entertained us with her readings and her special brand of humour.

As I listened to her read excerpts from Gertrude Talks Back and Oryx and Cake, I could feel her passion for the written word. The feisty septuagenarian is definitely a force in English literature, having written more than fifty volumes of poetry, children’s literature, fiction and non-fiction.

When asked about her reading preferences, Atwood told us that she reads everything she can get her hands on, even In-flight Magazine. And she enjoys watching a wide range of movies, among them Kung Fu Panda and Mirror Mirror.

While growing up, Margaret Atwood was never told what to read.  She knew that certain books were not appropriate, but that didn’t stop her. She recalls climbing up on the garage roof to read Peyton Place.

Other interesting tidbits…

She never throws out books. Instead, she inserts name plates with the message—This book is yours—and leaves the books on park benches throughout the city.

The only books she did not enjoy writing were those she did not finish.

She has her own attitude about semi-colons.

While she prefers print books, she has tried e-readers and believes they have their place.

She has read every trashy book about Mary Queen of Scots.

She encourages everyone to visit Wattpad for information about a digital poetry award called “The Attys.”

Oprah and Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

As I watched yesterday’s telecast on Super Soul Sunday, I was in awe of the articulate woman who sat across from Oprah.

Harvard trained brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a stroke triumphant!            

At age 37, a blood vessel exploded in the left side of her brain, leaving her unable to walk, speak or recall anything from her past. She was essentially an infant in a woman’s body.

But the story does not end there.

With the help of her mother, Dr. Taylor reinvented herself, embracing the  remaining right hemisphere that allowed her to think and function differently. I was most impressed by her attitude toward “new baggage.” While recovering, if she didn’t like the way something made her feel, she simply chose not to run the circuitry in her brain.  In particular, she focused on anger—that rush of feelings that last only about 90 seconds.

Pay attention to what you’re thinking → You are not your thoughts → Wait and it will pass.

While in the hospital, she could easily perceive who was there to help and who didn’t really care. She responded positively to anyone who…

Gave her time to hunt for the answer.

Didn’t finish all her sentences.

Handled her as gently as they would a newborn.

Excellent advice for all of us to consider when visiting friends or family members suffering from a stroke or other disability.

A movie version of her book, A Stroke of Insight, is being directed by Ron Howard. Jodie Foster will play Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor.

Quotable Quotes…

Please be responsible for the energy you bring into this room.

Peace is only a thought away.

Pay attention to what you’re thinking and if your thoughts aren’t creating the life you want, change your thoughts.

Being grateful is paramount.

What is Your Acronym?

I never really gave too much thought to the common, everyday acronyms that have been around for years. I can’t even remember a time when I didn’t know the meaning of ASAP (as soon as possible), BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato), TGIF (thank God it’s Friday) and other popular abbreviations.

With the explosive growth of social media, I have also had to learn the meaning of DM (direct message), AFAIK (as far as I know), FWIW (for what it’s worth) and a host of other acronyms. I often refer to the following website for enlightenment.

In the latest issue of Oprah Magazine, Gayle King discusses acronyms. While watching an HBO documentary about George H.W. Bush, she was impressed by the former’s president’s favorite acronym—CAVU or “ceiling and visibility unlimited”—which he learned as a navy pilot. President Bush believes that this acronym accurately describes his happy life with his wife in Maine.

Gayle decided to create her own acronym—LALL or “living and loving life.”

I’ve come up with two acronyms for my life: SOAR (starting over after retiring) and WIMSA (writing in my second act).

Any other acronyms other there?