I’m happy to welcome author Brenda Ridgley. Today, Brenda shares an inspiring message and her new release, Lady and the Tribe.
YOU are #1
Calling all Superheroes!
You know who you are. You are always being of service to others, volunteering to sit on the hump in the middle of the back seat, taking the smallest piece of cake, working from dawn until dusk and putting everyone else’s needs before your own. I am here to say…. STOP IT!
I am the author of Lady and the Tribe, How to Create Empowering Friendship Circles and it is my mission to wake everyone up to the FACT that we thrive on connection! In a world of social media, virtual offices, fitness apps, and on-line dating, people are detached and longing for connection. We need connection to our own spirituality and real relationships with others. We weren’t created to go it alone. Many people unknowingly have removed themselves from their close community, believing they are connected because of the number of social media “friends” they have yet feel empty, and unfulfilled. This longing and need can be fulfilled by re-connection to the self, a few close friends, and community.
So, listen up Superheroes I am talking to you! That tendency you have to always put yourself last has to go! When you continually take care of everyone and everything but yourself, you gradually have less and less to give. If you don’t KILL the martyr within you, you unknowingly will become needy. Right now I am going to remind you (your inner being already knows) that re-connecting to who you really are is easy.
Re-connecting to your essence requires self-care, self-love and getting your needs met. What do you need? What would fill you up and make you feel better? Maybe you are so far gone down the path of service that you can’t even answer this right now. If this is the case, carving out a little “ME” time is important. Take time to sit and be quiet with yourself and the Universe and remember what lights your fire. Think about a time in your life when you were eager and excited. What is it you were doing? Who were you with? Why was it so special? What activities make you joyful? Is it singing or dancing, painting, or writing? Are you doing these things now? You need to!!!! This fills your tank so that you have more to give… which you also love. You are a giver.
Once you know what you need, all you have to do is ASK for it! Guess what? Your friends and family can’t read your mind. They don’t know what you need and can’t help if they don’t understand. Other people also like to be of service, believe it or not. YOU need to be #1 in your own life! Once you do this, be #1….. a leader in your own life… and don’t feel guilty about it. You will be WHOLE. Everyone around you benefits when you are whole.
Thank you for connecting with me today. I encourage you… take the best piece of cake today! You deserve it!
I would love to hear from you about how you feel about this topic, especially if you are a recovering Superhero! Please share with me via email or on my Facebook page Brenda Ridgley Connections.
When three or more gather, we are Tribe.
Wives, mothers, and career women—we have all fallen victim to the silent epidemic that is, literally . . . letting ourselves go. Not the makeup free, yoga pants, weight gain routine. Little by little, we have allowed our preferences, interests, and individuality to slip away until we no longer recognize ourselves outside of our role as wives, mothers, or professionals. Who we are has become what we do.
In the process, our friendships have become the casualty of a “busy life” and lack consistency and depth. We have a gaping hole inside us that longs to be filled. How do we reclaim who we really are and fill this empty space that seemed to appear from nowhere? The answer lies in our Tribe. Our best friends see us more clearly than we see ourselves and are representations and extensions of our individuality. They are our companions, cheerleaders, and counselors—always in our corner. They are the branches of our tree of life that lift and support us, so we can flourish. Our Tribe is the family with whom we choose to live our life . . . with no strings attached.
Lady and the Tribe is a blueprint for building deep connections. As you read, you’ll be swept away on a journey of friendship as the author shares her own personal stories and those of other women. In the process, you’ll discover how to find, nurture, and deepen friendships and create a Tribe culture that is unique to you.
We can become whole again through the power of connection.
When three or more gather, we are Tribe.
Loneliness Can Be Lethal
Since we live in this global, socially connected world, how is it possible for anyone to be lonely? Psychologically speaking, loneliness does not necessitate social isolation. Being lonely means feeling detached from others yet having the desire for a connection or a relationship.
Why is loneliness so lethal? As human beings, one of our greatest needs is to be seen, acknowledged, and cared for. We want to belong and be a part of something larger than ourselves. More so than men, women need to maintain close connections. Relationships increase serotonin and oxytocin, the bonding hormone. In times of stress, women don’t just experience the drive toward fight or flight—they also release oxytocin. This hormone surge can compel women to “tend and befriend.”
Research is clear. Close friendships are necessary for optimal health and well-being. A longitudinal study of aging found that strong social networks lengthen survival among older people. Dr. Amir Leving suggests that social connections are the most powerful way for us to regulate our emotional distress and that proximity to someone you are securely attached to is the most effective way to calm yourself.
An article in the New York Times reported that close relationships create positive mental and physical reactions in our body, mind, and heart. We are less likely to experience high levels of loneliness when we feel supported by intimate and close relationships. Strong relationships with close friends or family benefit us greatly and fulfil our social needs.
Author Bio and Links
BRENDA RIDGLEY is an author, speaker, and girlfriend guru who loves helping women connect, find success, and discover joy through friendship. Her mission is to start a movement: women coming together to build thousands of new Lady Tribes around the globe. Through her workshops, vlogs, blogs, and book clubs, Brenda helps women connect and communicate with respect, love, and trust. She holds an MA in human resources and has spent decades cultivating her own Tribe. A Colorado girl at heart, Brenda lives in the Carbon Valley area with her husband, Parker, two kids, Parker Jr. and Gillian, and pooch, Perry. She enjoys hiking and has conquered Longs Peak and several other 14’ers. To connect with Brenda, visit her website at http://www.BrendaRidgley.com.
Brenda Billings Ridgley will be awarding a Cape Diablo wrap bracelet and a $25 Amazon Gift Card (US ONLY) to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter during the tour. Find out more here.
Follow Brenda on the rest of her Goddess Fish tour here.