Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant–Part II

In yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday, Iyanla Vanzant shared the most profound moments of her spiritual journey. We hear about her suicide attempt  at age 21 and the devastating loss of her daughter, Gemmia. While Iyanla may have crashed down, she didn’t stumble. Instead, she discovered that the quicker she got “It aint’ about me,” the less she suffered.

Iyanla’s daily spiritual practice involves reading her bible and listening to music. She stressed the fact that she does not pray to an external God. To Iyanla, prayer is intimate heartfelt conversation with BOO, her internal God. She shared three personal prayers that cover every circumstance:

Help!

Help me now!

Thank you.

Interesting facts about Iyanla…

1. She went to law school to train her mind. While there, she learned how to think and build an argument.

2. The name Iyanla means mother. It was given to her by her godfather.

3. She is most at home and at peace when she is braless in bed watching reruns of Law and Order.

What does she know for sure…God loves me and I didn’t do anything wrong.

Eden Mills Writers’ Festival

                                                                                                    

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This day is blessed.

The angels are looking down.

                              Lillian Nattel

We all nodded in agreement as best-selling author Lillian Nattel praised this magical community event that occurs once a year on the banks of the Eramosa River in the tiny village of Eden Mills.

The weather co-operated and added to our enjoyment as we wandered around the village, eating and drinking, stopping to browse through books and sitting in on readings at the various venues—the Mill, the Cottage, the Sculpture Garden, Common and the Chapel.

Inspired by such internationally acclaimed writers as Michelle Landsberg, Linden MacIntyre, Richard Gwyn, Lillian Nattel and Ami McKay, I also welcomed the opportunity to sit in on up-and-coming writers. While at the chapel, I listened to five writers from the MFA program at the University of Guelph and the winners of this year’s writing contest. Patricia Anderson, friend and fellow member of Guelph Writers Ink, read her award-winning story, Growing Pains.

Poet at Age 92

I enjoy reading about other people’s second acts, especially those of wordsmiths. I file away these stories and retell them whenever friends and  acquaintances start moaning about being too old to write a book, start an exercise regimen, apply for a new job or get out of their comfort zones.

The story of best-selling Japanese poet Toyo Shibata is one of my favorites.

At age 92, Shibata’s back gave out and she was forced to give up classical Japanese dance. Her son suggested she try another art form, one that would be easier on the back. So, Shibata decided to spend her evenings writing poetry. Encouraged by the publication of her first poem in a newspaper, she continued writing until she had enough poems to fill a book.

At age 99, Shibata self-published an anthology entitled Kujikenaide which can be translated into Don’t Be Too Frustrated, a mantra for the feisty nonagenarian. Since its publication in 2009, the book has sold over 1.5 million copies. An extraordinary achievement in a country where poetry is a tough sell and a book is considered a success if it sells 10,000 copies.

Unfortunately, her poems haven’t yet been translated. According to the reviewers, she addresses simple themes and writes mainly about her family and her caregivers. In one poem, however, she wrote a steamy passage about her doctor.

She is working on a second book which she plans to release on her 100th birthday.

Inspiring quotes from Toyo Shibata…

Although 98, I still fall in love. I do have dreams; one like riding on a cloud.

Everyone is equally free to dream.

A flower bloomed from a century-old tree, and it’s all because of your support. Now I have a souvenir to bring to the after-world and boast about it to my husband and my mother out there.

The Virgin Cure

Mixed feelings as we discussed The Virgin Cure at last night’s book club.  

While no one really loved the book, many of us liked it enough to consider reading Ami McKay’s highly successful debut novel, The Birth House, and the third in the series, to be released at a later date.

The Virgin Cure was inspired by McKay’s great-great grandmother, Dr. Sadie Fonda Macintosh, who practiced street medicine in the slums. McKay had intended to write the book in her grandmother’s voice, but while writing, she began to hear the words of a very different character, a twelve year old girl named Moth.

Moth’s opening line is a riveting one: “Mama sold me the summer I turned twelve.” Her fortune-telling mother had run out of ways to keep afloat in the slums of 19th century Manhattan. So, she sold Moth for an undisclosed price to a wealthy sadistic woman named Mrs. Wentworth. Brutally beaten and frightened, Moth manages to escape, but when she returns home, she discovers that her mother has mysteriously disappeared.

Homeless and at risk, she finds refuge in a home for higher class prostitutes. There, she finds life as an “almost whore” tolerable. She makes friends with the other young women in the home and meets the remarkable Dr. Sadie who is concerned with the plight of these child sex workers.

When Dr. Sadie enters the picture, point of view alternates between Moth and the doctor. I found these viewpoint changes very abrupt and I would have enjoyed reading more about Dr. Sadie’s story. What drove a wealthy woman to leave her family and spend her time among the poor and disadvantaged? McKay could easily have devoted entire chapters to the doctor and provided us with more insight into her motivation.

Many of us expected to read more about the virgin cure.  McKay describes this particular cure sought by infected men who believed they could be  cured by having sex with a virgin, but it is not the real focus of this book.

McKay’s research skills are impeccable. She has provided more than enough details to create a strong sense of place and further enhanced the narrative with snippets of news and trivia from the time period.

Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant

Rhonda Harris aka Iyanla Vanzant was born in poverty, endured a childhood filled with fear, married at age fourteen and had three children by the age of twenty-one. She lived off welfare until she turned her life around by putting herself through college and law school. Later, she became an ordained minister, launched a self-help empire and sold more than eight million books.

An amazing story of transformation that merits more than one appearance on Super Soul Sunday.

Yesterday, Iyanla focused on her early years and the hard lessons she has learned along the way. She acknowledges her earlier self—Rhonda—and credits that wounded and sorrowful soul with helping her survive poverty, abuse and rape. When “Rhonda” no longer fit who she had become, Iyanla renamed herself as a symbol of starting anew.

Facing the truth is painful but necessary. Throughout her life, Iyanla dealt with many relationship and money issues that forced her to endure the labor pains of birthing that truth. It took her forty years to realize she was still seeking her father’s approval. When her daughter commented on their financial problems, Iyanla admitted that she had a “welfare mentality with a million dollar life.”

As she opened up, Iyanla Vanzant demonstrated how she found peace among the broken pieces of her life.

So many wonderful quotes…

When you find yourself in a new situation, everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface. Pause and take a breath.

If you are not living the life that’s in alignment with who you are today, you are living the generational pathology of who you used to be.

Look at your patterns. Pause and pay attention.

When your relationship with God is hit or miss, so is your life.

Iyanla’s definition of God—All there is.

All things are lessons that God will have you learn. (Course in Miracles)

I must have decided wrongly, because I’m not at peace. (Course in Miracles)

You can give but if it can’t be received, it’s like it was never given. (Oprah)

Looking forward to Part II next Sunday.

Meeting Your Rhinoceros

Each month, I look forward to reading Martha Beck’s column in Oprah Magazine. The Harvard-educated psychologist uses her extraordinary storytelling ability to help her readers create more satisfying and meaningful life experiences.

In Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, Beck urges us to embrace our wildness and carve out different lives for ourselves as she addresses two basic questions: “How the hell did I get here?” and “What the hell should I do now?”

Having read her previous bestsellers—Finding Your Own North Star, Steering by Starlight, Expecting Adam—I knew enough not to expect another pop cultural self-help book. And I wasn’t disappointed. This book has all the ingredients necessary to create positive change in your life, whether you are new to the spiritual path or a seasoned traveler.

Beck walks the walk and she crosses an ocean to do so. The book is based on her experiences in Londolozi, a game preserve in South Africa. Throughout the book, she talks about her encounters with the animals and the lessons she learned along the way.

Her excellent command of the language is evident in the following descriptions: “The rhino, half hidden behind a thorn bush, cocks her primordial-looking head—which is roughly the size of a grocery cart—and swivels her satellite-dish ears toward us” and “Because cheetah’s tongues are like industrial-grade sandpaper, it’s physically excruciating; with every kiss, the cheetah seems to be removing significant layers of skin.”

She does not hesitate to point out her own personal foibles, reflecting a self deprecating sense of humour. After providing us with the healthy ingredients for a green “gorilla” smoothie, she adds the following instructions: “Throw all this stuff in a blender, where it will form a lovely still life of deeply saturated color. Then push the button and wait until the whole thing looks as if you already ate it, then threw up. Really, it might not be pretty, but your body will love it.”

This book is intended for wayfinders, “people who feel an internal call to heal any authentic part of the world, beginning with their own true nature.” Throughout the book, Beck talks about gathering a team of these people. She demonstrates four simple tools for transformation—wordlessness, oneness, imagination, creation—and includes step-by-step instructions and guided reflections designed to get us out of our mental ruts.

As Martha Beck Beck says, “If you’re a born mender, you’ll pursue this in spite of yourself. And as you find it, you’ll automatically become the change you wish to see in the world, healing the true nature of the people and things around you.”

It’s the kind of book you don’t read in one sitting. Instead, you reflect on each chapter and then at the end, go back and reread it, gaining new insights along the way.

Writing On The Nose

When I first heard the expression “writing on the nose,” I thought it was a good practice for all writers to follow. 

Why shouldn’t characters speak their mind?

Isn’t that what we should all be doing in real life?

While this would make for more honest relationships, it is rare to find people saying exactly what they are feeling. Instead, they use sarcasm, drop hints, clam up or use a variety of passive-aggressive tactics to mask their true feelings. So, it makes sense for writers to use subtext, body language and tone of voice in their works of fiction. Adding those extra layers ensures that the characters are believable while fully engaging the reader.

Consider the following excerpt from the opening chapter of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. Author Rachel Joyce effectively uses subtext to convey volumes about the relationship between recently retired Harold and his wife Maureen.

“Well?” said Maureen again.

“Good lord. It’s from Queenie Hennessy.”

Maureen speared a nugget of butter with her knife and flattened it the length of her toast. “Queenie who?

“She worked in the brewery. Years ago. Don’t you remember?

Maureen shrugged. “I don’t see why I should. I don’t know why I’d remember someone from years ago. Could you pass the jam?”

“She was in finances. She was very good.”

“That’s the marmalade, Harold. Jam is red. If you look at things before you pick them up, you’ll find it helps.”

Harold passed her what she needed and returned to his letter. Beautifully set out, of course; nothing like the muddled writing on the envelope. Then he smiled, remembering this was how it always was with Queenie: everything she did so precise you couldn’t fault it. “She remembers you. She sends her regards.”

Maureen’s mouth pinched into a bead. “A chap on the radio was saying the French want our bread. They can’t get it sliced in France. They come over here and they buy it up. The chap said there might be a shortage by summer.” She paused. “Harold? Is something the matter?”

He said nothing. He drew up tall with his lips parted, his face bleached. His voice, when at least it came, was small and far away. “It’s—cancer. Queenie is writing to say goodbye.” He fumbled for more words but there weren’t any. Tugging a handkerchief from his trouser pocket, Harold blew his nose. “I um. Gosh.” Tears crammed his eyes.

Moments passed; maybe minutes. Maureen gave a swallow that smacked the silence. “I’m sorry,” she said.

He nodded. He ought to look up, but he couldn’t.

“It’s a nice morning,” she began again. “Why don’t you fetch out the patio chairs?” But he sat, not moving, not speaking, until she lifted the dirty plates. Moments later the vacuum cleaner took up from the hall.

Oprah and Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

At age sixteen, author and Sufi mystic Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee experienced a shift in consciousness when he read the following Zen koan: The wild geese do not intend to cast their reflection, and the water has no mind to retain  their image.

Afterward, a door opened up within him and suddenly there was joy.

On yesterday’s Super Soul Sunday telecast, he spoke with Oprah about Sufism and the universal longing for love. It was interesting to learn that Sufism is inclusive of all religions and helps bridge the gap between the East and West.

I was impressed by this articulate mystic who is concerned with the state of our world. He believes that we are in a state of crisis, much deeper than Wall Street. He spoke at length about the three journeys: from God, to God and in God. Unfortunately, too many people ignore their divine natures and focus primarily on material accumulation. To get on the journey to God, something, usually tragedy, must wake them up. While describing the journey in God, he used Rumi’s words: a return to the root of the root of your own being.

When Oprah mentioned that many of her guests and viewers just want to be happy, Vaughan-Lee replied, “I think they want to be loved.”

Quotable Quotes…

If you go into the core of your being, there is only love or the longing for love.

In order to know God, the ego must be crucified.

For the Sufi, the heart has to break open. Most people are so closed, so contracted; it’s all about “me.”

In God I move and breathe and have my being. (One of Oprah’s mantas)

We are a feather on the breath of God. Hildegard of Bingen