Four Rules for Being YOU

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A long-time fan of bestselling authors and coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff, I look forward to receiving their emails. Here’s a thought-provoking excerpt from a recent email:

1. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride, it’s self-respect. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you constantly surround yourself with negative people. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer.

2. Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.

3. Perspective is everything. When faced with long check-out lines, traffic jams, or waiting an hour past your appointment time, you have two choices: You can get frustrated and enraged, or you can view it as life’s way of giving you a guilt-free breather from rushing, and spend that time daydreaming, conversing, or watching the clouds. The first choice will raise your blood pressure. The second choice will raise your consciousness.

4. Twenty years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of jeans you bought. What will matter is how you thought about yourself, how you lived, what you learned, and where you applied this knowledge.

The bottom line is, despite the real-world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will have to personally overcome on a daily basis is your own mind. In other words, you aren’t responsible for everything that happens to you in life, but you ARE responsible for undoing the self-defeating thinking patterns that these undesirable experiences create.

YES, YOU CAN THINK BETTER, which means you can ultimately live better.

Note: I highly recommend subscribing to Marc & Angel’s website.

Develop Your Compassion

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

One of my go-to books for inspiration is Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. Here’s one of my favorite passages:

Nothing helps us build our perspective more than developing compassion for others. Compassion is a sympathetic feeling. It involves the willingness to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to take the focus off yourself and to imagine what it’s like to be in someone else’s predicament, and simultaneously, to feel love for that person. It’s the recognition that other people’s problems, their pain and frustrations, are every bit as real as our own—often far worse. In recognizing this fact and trying to offer some assistance, we open our own hearts and greatly enhance our sense of gratitude.

Compassion is something you can develop with practice. It involves two things: intention and action. Intention simply means you remember to open your heart to others; you expand what and who matters, from yourself to other people. Action is simply the “what you do about it.” You might donate a little money or time (or both) on a regular basis to a cause near to your heart. Or perhaps you’ll offer a beautiful smile and genuine “hello” to the people you meet on the street. It’s not so important what you do, just that you do something. As Mother Teresa reminds us, “We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love.”

Compassion develops your sense of gratitude by taking your attention off all the little things that most of us have learned to take too seriously. When you take time, often, to reflect on the miracle of life—the miracle that you are even able to read this book—the gift of sight, of love, and all the rest, it can help to remind you that many of the things that you think of as “big stuff” are really just “small stuff” that your are turning into big stuff.

Source: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, pp. 17-18.

On Finding Passion

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A long-time fan of bestselling authors and coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff, I look forward to reading their emails and blog posts. Here’s an excerpt from a recent email:

Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” – something we believe will ultimately lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.

On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:

When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone nearby, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?

When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?

When was the last time you truly tried – truly tried – to do your very best?

Like most of us, you’re likely putting a half-hearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about – some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But you need to do the exact opposite!

Of course, we can’t do it all and we can’t have it all. Sometimes we have to say no to good things to be able to say yes to the most important things. Sometimes we have to take little risks with our time and energy. But in life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.

So go ahead and take a little risk today.

Feel some passion.

Discover love.

Run free.

Note: I highly recommend subscribing to Marc & Angel’s website.

Finish It

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

New York Times best-selling author Chuck Wendig offers this timely advice in his book, Damn Fine Story:

Always finish it.

No matter how unsure you are. No matter how unsteady it makes you feel.

The only way out is through.

Finishing the work teaches you how to finish the work. An ending is one of the most important parts of a story, and you only learn to write them by writing from the start to the finish.

Bonus: Finishing what you begin feels good. It gives you a little dopamine release. It offers a tiny widdle brain tickle.

If you have problems finishing a big story, first try to finish a smaller one. Learn the pattern. Build a ladder out of what you finish.

Don’t worry about failing. We all fail. The way you lose is by quitting.

Source: Damn Fine Story, p. 226.

Five Quotes that Will Calm Your Mind When You’re at a Crossroads

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A long-time fan of bestselling authors and coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff, I look forward to reading their emails and blog posts. Here are five inspirational quotes from a recent email:

1. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Think like you are blessed. Work like you are blessed. And you will be.

2. It’s often our own thinking that hurts us the most. There’s no reason to imprison yourself. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box.

3. Letting go isn’t forgetting, it’s remembering without fear. It’s stepping forward with a present mind and a lesson learned.

4. Our character is often most evident at our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountaintops, strong in the valleys, and faithful in between.

5. It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Embrace life’s gradual evolution…

Note: I highly recommend subscribing to Marc & Angel’s website.

Experiment with Your Back Burner

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

One of my go-to books for inspiration is Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. Here’s one of my favorite passages:

The back burner of your mind works in the same way as the back burner of a stove. While on low heat, the cooking process mixes, blends, and simmers the ingredients into a tasty meal. The way you prepared this meal was to throw the various ingredients into the pot, mix them up, and leave them alone. Often the less you interfere, the better the result.

In much the same way, we can solve many of life’s problems (serious and otherwise) if we feed the back burner of our mind with a list of problems, facts, and variables, and possible solutions. Just as when we make soup or a sauce, the thoughts and ideas we feed the back burner of our mind must be left alone to simmer properly.

Whether you are struggling to solve a problem or can’t remember a person’s name, your back burner is always available to help you. It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for. The back burner is not a prescription for denial or procrastination. In other words, while you do wat to put your problems on your back burner, you don’t want to turn the burner off. Instead, you want to gently hold the problem in your mind without actively analyzing it. This simple technique will help you solve many problems and will greatly reduce the stress and effort in your life.

Source: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, pp. 63-64.

Make Meaning on The Other Side

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

In a recent post, author and coach Brad Stulberg shared five research-based strategies that could help us cope with (hopefully) the last long winter of this pandemic. Here’s the strategy that resonated with me:

During hardship it can be helpful to release from any sense of this has to be meaningful or I need to make the most out of this in favor of being kind to yourself, being where you are, and just getting through. If you pay close attention to what is happening inside of you during these liminal phases, and do so without judgment, the right choices and actions tend to emerge on their own. Gradually, you progress from disorder to reorder.

We tend to look back on challenging periods of disorder in a much more productive and meaningful light than we experience them. In other words, sometimes growth doesn’t happen until you get to the other side, and that’s okay. During especially rough stretches, there is no need to put extra pressure on yourself to “make the most of things.” When you are in the thick of it, your job can be as simple, and as hard, as just getting through.

Read the rest of the post here.

Don’t Allow the Past to Rule Your Present Thoughts and Emotions

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A longtime fan of bestselling authors and coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff, I look forward to receiving their daily emails. Here’s a thought-provoking excerpt from a recent post:

In the present moment, we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc.

Notice this pain within yourself, watch it closely, and see that it’s caused by whatever story you have in your head about what happened in the past (either in the recent past or in the distant past). Your mind might insist that the pain you feel is caused by what happened (not by the story in your head about it), but what happened in the past is NOT happening right now. It’s over. It has passed. But the pain is still happening right now because of the story you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself about that past incident.

Note that “story” does not mean “fake story.” It also does not mean “true story.” The word “story” in the context of your self-evaluation doesn’t have to imply true or false, positive or negative, or any other kind of forceful judgment call. It’s simply a process that’s happening inside your head:

*You are remembering something that happened.
*You subconsciously perceive yourself as a victim of this incident.
*Your memory of what happened causes a strong emotion in you.

So just notice what story you have, without judging it, and without judging yourself. It’s natural to have a story; we all have stories. See yours for what it is. And see that it’s causing you pain. Then take a deep breath, and another…

Inner peace begins the moment you take these deep breaths and choose not to allow the past to rule your present thoughts and emotions.

Read the rest of the post here.

Make Peace with Imperfection

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

One of my go-to books for inspiration is Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. Here’s one of my favorite passages:

The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquillity conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we are zeroed in on what’s wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

Whether it’s related to ourselves—a disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment—or someone else’s “imperfections”—the way someone looks, behaves, or lives their life—the very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your best but with being overly attached and focused on what’s wrong with life. It’s about realizing that while there’s always a better way to do something, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. In the absence of your judgment, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

Source: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, pp. 11-12