Clean Jokes for Toastmasters


Use one of these jokes at your next meeting.


The loaded mini-van pulled into the remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the father, “That’s is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system – no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”


As a senior citizen drove down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him: “Vernon, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!”

“Hell,” Vernon said. “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”


A little boy attended his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked, “How many women can a man marry?”

“Sixteen,” the boy responded.

Amazed by the quick response, his cousin asked, “How do you know that?”

“Easy,” the little boy said, “All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”


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