Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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Use one of these jokes at your next meeting.

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A couple walked into a dentist’s office. The man said, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry. I have my buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to play golf, so forget about the anesthetic. I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. Just pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10 a.m. tee time at the best course in town and it’s already 9:30. I don’t have time for the anesthetic to work.”

The dentist wondered about this brave man who wanted to have his tooth pulled without anytime to kill the pain. He asked, “Which tooth is it?”

The man turned to his wife. “Open your mouth and show him.”

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A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. He called out: “Mama, look what I found.”

“What have you got there, dear?”

With astonishment in his voice, the boy answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

*********************

A Scottish mother visits her son in his New York City apartment and asks, “How do you find the Americans, Donald?”

“Mother,” says Donald, “they’re such noisy people. One neighbor won’t stop banging his head against the wall while the other screams all night long.”

“Oh, Donald! How do you put up with them?”

“What can I do? I just lie in bed quietly, playing my bagpipes.”


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4 responses to “Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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