How to Stop Holding On When You Should Let Go

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A longtime fan of bestselling authors and coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff, I look forward to receiving their daily emails. Here’s a thought-provoking excerpt from a recent message:

So how can we stop holding on?

By realizing that there’s nothing to hold on to in the first place.

Most of the things we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined in our minds.

Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand this.

Imagine you’re blindfolded and treading water in the center of a large swimming pool, and you’re struggling desperately to grab the edge of the pool that you think is nearby, but really it’s not—it’s far away. Trying to grab that imaginary edge is stressing you out, and tiring you out, as you splash around aimlessly trying to holding on to something that isn’t there.

Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you, and relax, and float.

This is the process of letting GO. It can be liberating.

Truth be told, inner peace begins the moment you take a new breath and choose not to allow an uncontrollable circumstance to dominate you in the present. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, breathe, and begin…

Note: I highly recommend subscribing to Marc & Angel’s website.

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

While rereading The Prosperous Heart by Julia Cameron, I stopped to reflect upon this excerpt:

The “next right thing” is usually something small. It may be finishing the essay–or the paragraph. It may be returning the call. It may be doing the laundry. The next right thing is not usually glamorous–in fact, the opposite. The next right thing is usually mundane, and it is always doable. It also always gives us a sense of satisfaction.

How often have we fretted about a relationship for hours, when, in fact, what we need to do was finish the report we were working on? In avoiding the report, we are creating drama–setting up a situation where we will have to rush to get it done or make an excuse for ourselves tomorrow, triggering feelings of guilt and self-attack. We know when we are not doing the next right thing, because the actual next right thing is bugging us, pestering us, dancing around our consciousness, tapping at our psyche.

Doing the next right thing, especially when that thing is small, takes courage. Doing the next right thing when people around us are dramatic or threatening takes even more courage. When we display humility and take the honest next step for ourselves, we are always rewarded with a sense of true accomplishment. Sometimes, the “next right thing” is as simple as “go to sleep.”

Source: The Prosperous Heart by Julia Cameron, pp. 194-195

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

Here’s an inspiring quote from author and coach Barbara Sher:

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

In his book, Life is in the Transitions, Bruce Feiler writes about the power of positive language and transformative personal stories. Here’s one of my favorite excerpts:

The novelist John Steinbeck had a quirky logo he drew after signing his name. It was a pig with wings. He called it Pigasus, which he wrote out in Greek letters. Late in his life, he accompanied the illustration with the Latin words Ad Astra Per Alia Porci, which he translated (incorrectly, it turns out) as “to the stars on the wings of a pig.” His explanation: We must all try to attain the heavens, even though we are bound to the earth.

For half a millennium, the expression when pigs fly has been used in multiple languages to mean a circumstance so improbable that its completion is nearly impossible. It’s a figure of speech known as an adynaton, a way of saying something that will never happen. Steinbeck adopted this phrase because he had been told by a naysayer professor that he would be an author “when pigs fly.”

More recently, neuroscientists have discovered that imagining this kind of unimaginable outcome is vital to recovering from a life interrupted. The more we are able to conjure up a future that seems out of reach—I will find another job, I will laugh once more, I will love again—the more we’re able to advance toward it. A big reason is mirror neurons, the part of our brains that mimic the actions we observe. When we see someone jump, laugh, or cry, our brains imitate the same activity.

The same mirroring happens with stories we tell. If we tell ourselves we will get better, or calmer, or happier, our minds will begin to simulate that outcome. This response doesn’t mean we’ll achieve these results right away, but it does mean we set in motion that possibility.

Steinbeck was right: We can make pigs fly.

Source: Life is in the Transitions by Bruce Feiler, p. 290.

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

Here is a thought-provoking reflection from Gordon Duncan of the Authors Community:

You can’t live on the street corner of inspiration.

As an artist, speaker, author, or creative, we love inspiration. It’s when the moment strikes, and we can barely make it to the computer, the canvas, or the blank piece of paper.

However, living on that corner often means that our work is created slowly or not at all.

Additionally, there are parts of creating that rarely enjoy moments of inspiration. For example, has anyone ever been inspired to edit their book? Maybe, but rarely.

No, the hidden secret behind creativity is that it is hard work. In fact, inspiration’s best friend is creativity.

It’s like the old adage, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” For the artist, it should be, “The harder I work, the more inspired I get.”

To get us there, here are a couple of tips to help you supplement your inspiration with some sweat:

One: Schedule writing time weekly, and even daily, if you can. Prolific authors like John Maxwell and Stephen King writer everyday…every day.

Two: Create consequences and benefits for your deadlines. A deadline is only a deadline if it has consequence. Otherwise, it’s a wish. Let’s say you want to have 100 pages written by the end of the month. If you hit that number, take yourself and someone you love out to a nice dinner. If you don’t hit it, then deny yourself that extra coffee or that movie you were going to see. It doesn’t have to be painful, but it does need to be consequential.

Three: Seek out accountability. This one is huge. Very few of us have the drive of a Maxwell or King. Entrusting a friend to keep you accountable or enlisting the services of a coach will help. Give them the right to speak honestly into your life. Give them the freedom to be blunt with you.

Four: Make a decision. Is your art a hobby or an identity? Is it something you do here and there or is it part of who you are? If it is part of who you are, then you have to organize your time towards those things. Hobbies are things you just pick up here or there.

Note: I encourage authors and other creatives to visit the Authors Community website.

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

Here’s one of my favorite quotations from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A longtime fan of bestselling authors and coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff, I look forward to receiving their daily emails. Here’s some excellent advice for these challenging times:

Far too often we think that mental strength is all about how we respond to extreme circumstances. How did she perform on stage during that televised event? Did he bounce back from that heart-wrenching divorce? Can she keep her life together even after suffering from a major, debilitating injury?

There’s no doubt that extreme circumstances test our bravery, determination and mental strength, but what about common, daily circumstances?

Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed yourself in hundreds of little ways over time, of course you’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.

But it doesn’t have to be that way…

Choose to lift some weights when it would be more comfortable to sleep in. Choose to do the tenth rep when it would be more comfortable to quit at nine. Choose to create something special when it would be more comfortable to consume something mediocre. Choose to raise your hand and ask that extra question when it would be more comfortable to stay silent. Prove to yourself, in hundreds of little ways, that you have the guts to get in the ring and wrestle with life.

Mental strength is built through lots of small, daily victories. It’s the individual choices we make day-to-day that build our “mental strength” muscles. We all want this kind of strength, but we can’t think our way to it. If you want it, you have to do something about it ritualistically. It’s your positive daily rituals that prove your mental fortitude and move you in the direction of your dreams over the long-term.

The bottom line is that when things get difficult for most people, they find something more comfortable to do. When things get difficult for mentally strong people, they find a way to stay on track with their positive daily rituals.

Note: I highly recommend subscribing to Marc & Angel’s website.

On Wednesdays, I share posts, fables, songs, poems, quotations, TEDx Talks, cartoons, and books that have inspired and motivated me on my writing journey. I hope these posts will give writers, artists, and other creatives a mid-week boost.

A longtime fan of acclaimed psychologist Dr. Sonya Friedman, I like to reread many of the insightful passages from her best-selling books. Here’s one of my favorites from Take It From Here

In nature, chameleons adapt to the environment by changing color, blending in, and thus fooling predators. Nothing could be more descriptive of getting real and rolling with the punches. Although we’re a much higher form of life than a chameleon, capable of thinking and having a conscience, we can essentially do the same on another level: adapt to better fit into a personal environment of family, relationships, and work. You may have had twenty jobs in your life, or three failed marriages, and your bombs may be greater than your successes, but if you stretch your ability to adapt to what is real, you can gain the courage to keep going out there and, ultimately, achieve greater success.