Nailing That First Page

Posted on June 6, 2012 by Joanne Guidoccio

At last night’s dinner meeting for Guelph Writers Ink, we discussed a variety of topics, among them the all-important first page of a novel. Opinions varied around the table with most of us agreeing that the first page must introduce the protagonist and include a crisis or conflict of some kind. While it is important to set the scene, it should be done without getting bogged down in too many descriptions.

Those of us who write crime fiction must also consider the following question: Is it necessary to place the dead body on the first page of a novel?

In a recent article, bestselling author Louise Penny offered the following advice: “If you’re writing your first work of crime fiction, place the body near the beginning of your book—preferably on the first page, perhaps the first sentence. In later books this won’t be as necessary, but agents and editors like it established early, so readers know what they’re getting.”

I am a fan of Louise Penny and inclined to follow her advice. She has walked the walk and achieved literary success with her mystery series. Her first novel, Still Life, was turned down by 50 publishers and agents before it found a home with British literary agent Teresa Chris.

In my WIP, I had originally introduced the dead body at the bottom of the second page. But after reading Louise’s article and getting advice from other writers, I reworked the first chapter and placed the dead body in the first sentence.

Any other thoughts out there?

Dealing with Dialogue Tags

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Joanne Guidoccio

Looking back at some of my earlier work, I cannot help but cringe at my use of “said bookisms” such as roared, admonished, exclaimed, queried, and hissed. I was trying to avoid overusing the word “said” and looked for suitable alternatives. I realize now that using all those words only made it sound like I enjoyed using my thesaurus. I was annoying the reader and drawing attention away from the dialogue.

It is not necessary to help the reader interpret the dialogue, or worse, tell the reader how the words are said instead of showing him. If the dialogue is strong enough, “he said” and “she said” will do. Like other parts of speech—the, is, and, but—that are used several times on each page, “said” is invisible to the reader and allows him to concentrate on the action and dialogue.

To add variety, I have been working on using action to vary the tags. I am also trying to simplify the narrative and use taut dialogue to build up tension.

The following excerpt from Kaleidoscope, Gail Bowen’s latest in the Joanne Kilbourn Mystery series, illustrates the effective use of dialogue:

The news I was about to deliver was harsh, and Taylor and Zack both knew it. Zack reached across the table and took our daughter’s hand.

“So how bad is it?” he asked.

“It’s bad,” I said. “Everything in the east half of the house is pretty well gone. The bedrooms are all right. The police wouldn’t let us look at the basement, but I think it’s safe to assume there’ll be structural damage there.”

“So, what’s left?” Taylor asked, her voice small.

“Your mother’s paintings are still on loan to that retrospective, so they’re safe. And the Scott Plear and your abstract were in our bedroom, so they’re fine. Nothing in your bedroom was touched.”

“But the room where the pool was is gone?” she asked.

I nodded.

“So the fresco I painted on the wall is gone?”

“Yes.”

“And the self-portrait I gave Dad for Christmas?”

“It was in the family room.”

“And the family room is gone?” Taylor’s eyes brimmed with tears, but she set her mouth in a determined line and turned to Zack. “I’ll paint another one.”

The Amateur Sleuth

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Joanne Guidoccio

When I decided to write a murder mystery, I gravitated toward the cozies. A longtime fan of Miss Marple, Nancy Drew and Jessica Fletcher, I felt comfortable with introducing an amateur sleuth instead of a private detective or other law enforcement officer.

My protagonist, Gilda Greco, is a career development practitioner. After winning a nineteen million dollar lottery, Gilda leaves her longtime teaching career and opens a career counselling office aimed primarily at helping boomers launch their second acts. While I haven’t won a lottery (yet), I am a retired high school teacher with a post-graduate diploma in career counselling. It made sense to create a sleuth who has my background and skill set. Whenever Gilda discovers a body or encounters an obstacle, I ask myself what I would in that situation. Writing in the first person also helps me get into Gilda’s head.

While researching my book, I discovered the need for getting the facts straight, especially with regard to official law enforcement. Detectives and private investigators do not readily share information, so it is necessary for the sleuth to use her intelligence and curiosity to uncover clues and motives. Traditionally, the amateur sleuth does save the day, but I was careful not to portray the local police force as too misguided or incompetent.