Q: Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?
A: They like to avoid the flush.
Q: What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?
A: May the Forest be with you.
Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling green!
Q: What did the Tree Hugging hottie say to the guy in the SUV?
A: “Turning off your Engine, gets my motor humming.”
Q: How many climate skeptics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.
Q: How do oil companies deal with oil spills?
A: Slick lawyers.
Q: Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard on Earth Day?
A: Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.
Q: How do trees get on the Internet?
A: They log in.
Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her organic vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t get her organic tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor’s garden, which had beautiful bright red organic tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret.
“It’s really quite simple,” the old man explained. “Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment.”
Desperate for the perfect organic garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily. Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check her progress.
“So,” he asked, “Any luck with your tomatoes?”
“No,” she replied excitedly. “But you should see the size of my cucumbers!”