Clean Jokes for Toastmasters


Use one of these jokes at your next meeting.


A woman is sitting on the sofa with her husband. She says, “I love you.”

He asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”

She replies, “It’s me…talking to the wine.”


The most successful member of my local weight-loss club was an elderly woman.

“How’d you do it?” we asked.

“Easy,” she said. “Every night I take my teeth out at six o’clock.”

Source: Cathy J. Schreima, Readers’ Digest


At an airline ticket counter, a small boy travelling with his mother told the agent he was two years old.

The man looked at him suspiciously and asked, “Do you know what happens to little boys who lie?”

“Yes. They fly at half price.”

Source: Marlene Freedman, Readers’ Digest


We rushed our four-year-old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever and vomiting. The doctor examined him carefully, before asking Ben what bothered him most.

After thinking it over, Ben answered hoarsely, “I would have to say my little sister.”

Source: Angela Schmid, Readers’ Digest


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