Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

12346918_s

Use one of these jokes at your next meeting.

*********************

The church’s electricity failed just as I began my Christmas Eve service, so the ushers and I lit some candles. I then re-entered the pulpit, shuffled my notes and muttered, “Now where was I?”

A tired voice called out, “Right near the end.”

Source: Rev. Douglas C. Woods

*********************

Inebriated and in no shape to drive, Peter decided to leave his van in the parking lot and walk home on New Year’s Eve.

As he wobbled along, a policeman stopped him and asked, “What are you doing here at four o’clock in the morning?”

“I’m on my way to a lecture,” Peter answered.

“Who on earth would give a lecture at this time of night?” asked the constable.

“My wife,” slurred Peter.

Source: www.CraziestJokes.com

*********************

After my husband and I purchased an old home from two elderly sisters, I became concerned about the house’s lack of insulation.

“If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband declared.

One early winter night, the temperature plunged below zero, and we woke up to find the interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they kept the house warm. After a brief conversation, he hung up.

“For the past thirty years,” he muttered, “they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”

Source: Linda Dobson

Advertisements

2 responses to “Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s