Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

12346918_sShare one of these jokes at your next Toastmaster meeting.

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A young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner.

While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.

“Goat,” the little boy replied.

“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Pa say to Ma, ‘Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.’”

Source: Jacqueline Gum

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A man is in the hospital facing a life-saving operation, one of the big ones, he needs a new brain. The doctor talks to his family and explains the costs involved. “We have a couple of brains immediately available, a man’s and a woman’s, but I must warn you, the costs are very different. The man’s brain costs $500,000 and the woman’s $50,000. It’s up to you, which would you prefer I use?”

“Heavens!” cries the wife, disappointed by what was clearly another expression of gender discrimination. “Why does the woman’s brain cost so little?”

“The man’s brain has never been used except for a couple of times, so it’s brand new. The woman’s brain has been heavily used…..”

Source: Jacqueline Gum

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 Little Tommy was having trouble in math, so his mother enrolled him in a Catholic school, thinking the discipline would help him. When Tommy came home with an A on his first report card, his mother was thrilled. She asked, “Tommy, how did you do it?”

“Well,” he replied. “When I got to school and saw the guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they were serious about math.”

Source: St. Joseph’s Church bulletin


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2 responses to “Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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