Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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Father Les woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny day, decided he just had to play golf. He told Father Markus that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Masses that day.

As soon as Father Markus left the room, father Les headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from the parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church.

Up above, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord and said, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed. “No, I guess not.”

Just then, Father Les hit the ball and it shot straight towards the in, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter asked, “Why did you let him do that?”

The Lord smiled. “Who’s he going to tell?”

Source: St. Joseph’s Catholic Church Bulletin


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A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter welcomed the cat. “Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?”

The cat replied, “I’ve been sleeping on a cold floor and I’d love a warm pillow to sleep on.” St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.

Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster, so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.

The next day, St. Peter checked in on the cat. “How was everything last night?”

The cat replied, “That pillow you have me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels.”

Source: Aha Jokes

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