Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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If you are Joke Master at your next Toastmaster meeting,  consider using one of the following jokes.

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Jared and Yvonne, both in their early 60s, were in a restaurant celebrating their ruby wedding anniversary. Suddenly, a tiny fairy appeared on their table. She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple for these past forty years, I will grant you each a wish.”

Yvonne answered, “I want to travel around the world with my husband.” The fairy waved her magic wand and–poof!–two luxury cruise ship tickets appeared.

Jared thought for a moment. “Well, this is all very romantic,” he said sheepishly, “but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry love, but I want a wife 30 years younger than me.”

The fairy was deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So she waved her magic wand and–poof!–Jared became 92 years old.

Source: David Mitchell, Readers Digest

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My four-year-old daughter was in the back seat of our car listening to my husband and me lamenting the loss of  houses in our area that were being torn down and replaced with monster homes. We suddenly heard a little voice in the back seat. “Mommy?” I looked back to see her staring at me with saucer eyes. “How big are the monsters who live in those homes?”

Source: Denise Davy, Readers Digest

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Soon after arriving in Los Angeles from Canada, I phoned a weather station and asked what the temperature was in L.A. “Sixty-eight degrees,” was the reply. I then asked what the temperature was in Celsius. After a long pause, the person asked, “Can you give me the zip code for Celsius?”

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