Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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At the next Toastmasters’ meeting, share one of the following jokes with the other members. When practicing your delivery, remember to include a pause for audience reaction.

Most important of all, have fun with this meeting role!

The final round of the hammer throw event comes down to a Russian soldier, a Bulgarian farmer and Larry, who spends his days playing video games in his parents’ basement.

The Russian throws first: 85 meters. Interviewed later, he says, “I’m from a military family, which gives me discipline.”

Then the Bulgarian throws: 88 meters. He tells reporters, “I’m from a farming family. This gives me strength.”

Now it’s Larry’s turn. He slings the hammer 95 meters, winning gold. Later, he explains, “I’m from a long line of lazy people, and I was taught, ‘If anyone ever puts a hammer in your hand, throw it as far away as you can.’”

Source: Readers’ Digest

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A man and his ten-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles away from home. At the boy’s insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church. The father forgot to bring any cash, so he reached in his pocket and gave his son a dime to drop in the offering plate as it was passed.

As they walked back to their car after the service, the father complained. “The service was too long,” he said. “The sermon was boring and the singing was off key.”

The boy replied, “Daddy, I thought it was pretty good for a dime.”

Source: St. Joseph’s Catholic Church bulletin

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A man sees a beautiful woman at the end of the bar. He walks up to her and asks, “Where have you been all my life?”

“Well,” she says. “For the first half of it, I wasn’t even born.”

Source: Readers’ Digest

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4 responses to “Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

  1. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long
    as I provide credit and sources back to your blog?
    My blog is in the exact same niche as yours and my users would
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  2. Joanne,

    How precious the gift of humor is for us. It heals the soul and the body. Recent studies show that if a person laughed 100 times a day, it’s the same as a 10 minute cardio workout! Thank you for the reminder not to take life too seriously!

    Sincerely, Carole

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