Clean Jokes for Toastmasters


Appropriate, well-timed humor definitely adds to the Toastmaster experience. As Joke Master, it can be a challenge  to find  and deliver a suitable one-liner, groaner or anecdote that pleases everyone.

These are some of my favorites…

A Buddhist monk strolled into a Zen pizza parlor and said, “Make me one with everything on it.”

The owner obliged. When he turned over the pizza with all the trimmings, the monk gave him a twenty-dollar bill which the owner stuck in the cash register.

“Where’s my change?” the monk asked.

The owner replied, “Change must come from within.”

Source: Become Who You Were Born to Be by Brian Souza


A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and asked her to say the blessing.

“I don’t know what to say,” the little girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say.”

The daughter bowed her head. “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

Source:  The Power of Focus for Women, Fran Hewitt & Les Hewitt


Peter and James were walking through the juggle. Suddenly, a tiger appeared from a distance, running toward them. Peter took out a pair of Nike running shoes from his bag and started to put them on.

“Do you really think you will run faster than the tiger with those?” James asked.

Peter replied, “I don’t have to outrun it, I just have to run faster than you.”

Source: 1000 Ventures


5 responses to “Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

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